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The Simpsons
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| Title: | The Secret War of Lisa Simpson |
| Episode Number: | 178 |
| Season: | 8 |
| Season Episode #.: | 25 |
| Production Number: | 4F21 |
| Original Airdate: | Sunday May 18th, 1997 |
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Bart and Lisa enroll in military school. While no fan of obeying orders, Bart eventually takes to the school, befriending some of the cadets and even earning the grudging respect of the school's Commandant. Lisa, on the other hand, is ostracized for being a girl and made to work twice as hard as everyone else. Bart tries to help her, but he's torn between the acceptance of his peers and his love for his sister. As part of the training program, all the kids must climb along a 150-foot rope strung across a patch of nasty thorn bushes. Lisa and Bart train for the task together and in the end manage to make it across successfully. Both agree to leave military school and return to their regular lives.
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| Instructor: Since you've already attended public school, we're assuming you've already had experience with small arms. So, we're gonna give you something... a little more advanced. (Hands Bart a mini-rocket launcher)
Bart: Wow.
(Bart begins firing away at his targets, destroying four. The last rocket flies off into the distance)
Instructor: Four out of five, Simpson. Impressive. But you missed your last target.
Bart: (Slyly) Did I?
(Cut to Springfield Elementary. Principal Skinner is standing next to the smoldering crater that was his car.)
Nelson: (From school window) Ha ha!
| Bart: But if you quit, it would be like an expert knot-tyer quitting a knot-tying contest right in the middle of tying a knot!
Lisa: Why did you say that?
Bart: I don't know. I was just looking at my shoelaces. But the point is, you're gonna make it, Lise, and I'll stick by you.
Lisa: Don't do that. Why should we both be outcasts?
Bart: Then I'll stick by you in secret. Like a sock maker secretly working on a top secret sock that . . .
Lisa: Will you stop looking at your feet!
| Commandant: Gentlemen, we now have a girl cadet among our ranks, so there are going to be a few changes. First of all, Franklin, you are no longer the girliest cadet here.
Franklin: (In a very effeminate voice) Well, we'll see about that.
Commandant: Second of all, this is now the girls' barracks, so pack your things, you're moving in with Company L.
Cadet: Company L? But they smell!
Commandant: Yes, we've all heard the chant...Now fall out!
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