Chalkboard: I no longer want my MTV
Couch: Homer is standing in front of the couch. The top half of him pops off and on to the couch revealing a smaller Marge standing inside the lower half of Homer, like a Russian nesting doll. The top half of Marge pops off revealing Bart, whose top half pops off revealing Lisa, whose top half finally pops off to reveal Maggie, who stays in the middle of Homer’s body and sucks on her pacifier.
Homer: Oy, the way the Bee Gee's played,
Marge: Movies John Travolta made,
Homer: Guessing how much Elvis weighed,
Homer & Marge: Those were the days!
Marge: And you knew where you were then,
Homer: Watching shows like "Gentle Ben",
Homer & Marge: Mister, we could use a man like Sheriff Lobo again!
Homer: Disco Duck and Fleetwood Mac,
Marge: Coming out of my eight-track,
Homer & Marge: Michael Jackson still was black, those were the days!
Homer: Bart was feeling mighty blue
Marge: It's a shame what school can do
Apu: For no reason, here's Apu
All: Those were the days!
Homer: Bart son, do you want to play catch?
Homer: Oh, when a boy doesn't wanna play catch with his old man something is seriously wrong!
Abe: I'll play catch with you, son!
Homer: Get the hell out!
Homer: Our family was suffering its worst crisis ever. Bart was miserable at school, and Lisa's gifts were going to waste.
Bart: Ah, Homer, it's five years later and I'm still miserable at school!
Lisa: And my gifts are still going to waste.
Marge: And sometimes I just feel so smothered by this family I just want to scream till my lungs explode!!!
Homer: Oh, but Marge, am I doomed to spend the rest of my life sweating like a pig?
Bart: Yeah, not to mention looking like a pig, and eating like a pig.
Apu: Don't forget the smell!
Homer: Will you get off my front lawn?
Apu: Why don't you make me!
When groundskeeper Willie pointed to the sign that said to stay off the grass, Bart seemed to be able to read it and obeyed it by walking off the grass.
In an earlier scene from this episode Bart couldn't even sing the alphabet without help from the teacher, let alone be able to read at all.