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The Simpsons: Bart Star

Springfield starts a pee-wee football team to combat childhood obesity. Flanders is chosen as the team captain, but Homer's constant heckling leads to Homer himself becoming coach--and less-talented Bart to be the quarterback instead of the infinitely-better Nelson Muntz.


Episode Info


Episode number: 9x6
Production Number: 5F03
Airdate: Sunday November 09th, 1997

Director: Dominic Polcino
Writer: Donick Cary


  • Currently 6.2/10
6.2/10 (5 Votes cast)
Guest Stars
Joe NamathJoe Namath
voiced Himself
Recurring
Maggie RoswellMaggie Roswell
voiced Luann Van Houten, Maude Flanders
Recurring
Mike JudgeMike Judge
voiced Hank Hill
Recurring
Pamela HaydenPamela Hayden
voiced Rod, Janey
Recurring
Russi TaylorRussi Taylor
voiced Martin, Sherri, Terri, Uter
Recurring
Roy FirestoneRoy Firestone
voiced Himself
Main Cast
Dan CastellanetaDan Castellaneta
voiced Homer Simpson, Abraham Simpson, Krusty the Klown, Barney, Willy, Sideshow Mel, Mayor Quimby, Hans Moleman, Gil, Itchy, Various
Julie KavnerJulie Kavner
voiced Marjorie "Marge" Bouvier Simpson, Patty Bouvier, Selma Bouvier, Jacqueline Ingrid Bouvier, Various
Nancy CartwrightNancy Cartwright
voiced Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, Kearney, Various
Yeardley SmithYeardley Smith
voiced Lisa Simpson, Various
Hank AzariaHank Azaria
voiced Apu, Moe, Chief Wiggum, Carl, Comic Book Guy, Dr. Nick Riviera, Prof. Frink, Cletus, Sea Captain, Kirk Van Houten, Various
Harry ShearerHarry Shearer
voiced Mr. Burns, Smithers, Dr. Marvin Monroe, Ned Flanders, Seymour Skinner, Otto, Kent Brockman, Dr. Hibbert, Lenny, Rev. Lovejoy, Various
Episode Notes
Chalkboard: I did not invent Irish dancing

Couch: The family sits; an auto-crusher compresses them all into a rectangular block.



Episode Quotes
Lisa: What position have you got for me?
(The kids gasps)
Lisa: That's right. A girl who wants to play football. How about that?
Ned: Well, thats super-duper, Lisa. We've already got four girls on the team.
Lisa: You do?
Ned: Uh huh. But we'd love to have you on board!
Lisa: Well...football's not really my thing. After all...what kind of civilized person would play a game with the skin of an innocent pig?!
Ned: Well, actually, Lisa, these balls are synthetic!
Janey: And for every ball you buy, a dollar goes to Amnesty International!
Lisa: (Crying) I've gotta go!

Bart: It's gonna take a miracle for me to become a good quarterback!
Joe Namath: Excuse me, son.
Bart: Wow! Joe Namath!
Joe Namath: That's right. My car broke down in front of your house.
Bart: I cannot believe you are here! Do you think maybe you could give me some pointers?
Joe Namath: Sure! There's only one thing you need to know to be a great quarterback.
Mrs. Namath: Joe, honey, I fixed it! It was just vapor lock!
Joe Namath: OK, look, I've gotta run. Remember what I told you!

(Homer praises Bart for his play and the rallying of the troops, failing to realize his son's mistakes resulted in a lopsided loss)
Homer: Hey everybody! Lets hear it for Bart!
(Bart's teammates glare at him menacingly)
Bart: (Meekly) Give me a "B"?
Nelson: I won't give you a "B", but I'll tear you a new "A"!
Millhouse: If I wasn't your friend, I'd tell you, you sucked!
Terri: You ruined our undefeated season! You ruined everything! Ruiner!
(Nelson grabs Bart by the jersey)
Nelson: Listen here daddy's boy. You cost us one more game and you're dead.
(Nelson shoves Bart face first into the mud)
Ralph: You're going to heaven!

(in the car)
Bart: But I can't play quarterback! I don't even know how!
Homer: Son, you can do anything you want. I have total faith in you.
Bart: Since when?
Homer: Since your mother yelled at me. Now, how about that hug?
(Homer hugs Bart)
Bart: Dad! The car!
Lisa: I got it.

Marge: He's going to need, uh… you know, protection.
Guy: Sure… one helmet coming up.
Marge: I was thinking more of… protection… down there
Guy: Oh, why didn't you say so? Knee pads. You got it.
Marge: (very laughs nervously) I'm talking about his personal area.
Guy: Ah ha. Say no more. I read you loud and clear. The old shoulder pads.
Marge: Look, I want a cup
Guy: Cup, could you spell that?
Marge: Cee Yuu Pee I wanna Cee Yu…oh my god!

Marge: He's going to need, uh… you know, protection.
Guy: Sure… one helmet coming up.
Marge: I was thinking more of… protection… down there
Guy: Oh, why didn't you say so? Knee pads. You got it.
Marge: (very laughs nervously) I'm talking about his personal area.
Guy: Ah ha. Say no more. I read you loud and clear. The old shoulder pads.
Marge: Look, I want a cup
Guy: Cup, could you spell that?
Marge: Cee Yuu Pee I wanna Cee Yu…oh my god!



Warning: The Simpsons season 9 episode 6 guide may contain spoilers
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