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The Simpsons: All Singing, All Dancing

When Homer accidentally rents a Paint Your Wagon-esque musical western, the rest of The Simpson family take a look back at all the show's musical moments, from Apu's "Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart" to Lionel Lanley's "Monorail" song--and resident criminal Snake does the viewers a favor by holding the family hostage to keep them from singing any further.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 9x11
Production Number: 5F24
Airdate: Sunday January 04th, 1998

Director: Mark Ervin
Writer: Steve O'Donnell

Guest Stars
George HarrisonGeorge Harrison
voiced Himself
Pamela HaydenPamela Hayden
voiced Milhouse
Phil HartmanPhil Hartman
voiced Lyle Lanley
Tress MacNeilleTress MacNeille
voiced Various
Main Cast
Dan CastellanetaDan Castellaneta
voiced Homer Simpson, Abraham Simpson, Krusty the Klown, Barney, Willy, Sideshow Mel, Mayor Quimby, Hans Moleman, Gil, Itchy, Various
Julie KavnerJulie Kavner
voiced Marjorie "Marge" Bouvier Simpson, Patty Bouvier, Selma Bouvier, Jacqueline Ingrid Bouvier, Various
Nancy CartwrightNancy Cartwright
voiced Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, Kearney, Various
Yeardley SmithYeardley Smith
voiced Lisa Simpson, Various
Hank AzariaHank Azaria
voiced Apu, Moe, Chief Wiggum, Carl, Comic Book Guy, Dr. Nick Riviera, Prof. Frink, Cletus, Sea Captain, Kirk Van Houten, Various
Harry ShearerHarry Shearer
voiced Mr. Burns, Smithers, Dr. Marvin Monroe, Ned Flanders, Seymour Skinner, Otto, Kent Brockman, Dr. Hibbert, Lenny, Rev. Lovejoy, Various
Episode Notes
Chalkboard: None

Couch: The floor is a treadmill. Marge, Lisa, Bart, and Maggie successfully dismount after running in place, while Homer gets stuck on it, yelling, “Marge, stop this crazy thing!” à la George Jetson.

By eerie coincidence, the first gunshots Snake fires to keep the orchestra from playing are heard over Phil Hartman's name in the credits. Months after this episode premiered, Hartman was shot to death by his wife, Brynn.

Episode Quotes

Lisa: You like musicals don't you dad?
Homer: No, I don't, I think they're bad.
They're fake and phony and totally wrong.
Bart: Wake up dad, you're singing a song.
Homer: I wouldn't, I couldn't, I hate that stuff.
Marge: Now Homer, listen, I've had enough.
In our family videos we have clearly seen,
you're a singing, dancing, entertainment machine.

Bart: Mom was right, your singing's a sin.
You're as les misérable as Lee Marvin.
Marge: Sure your dad's singing could make your hair curl,
but you too Bart have sung and danced like a girl.
Bart: Eep.

Lisa: That was pretty bad Bart,
but it could have been worse,
you could have been carrying a sequined verse.
Bart: I hate to dance, and prance and sing.
That's really more of a Milhouse thing.
Marge: I think you move like a young Baryshnikov.
Snake: Nobody move, or I'll blow your heads off.
All: Oooooohh.
Snake: Oooooh.

Marge: It's a desperate criminal on the run from the law,
please spare my children.
Homer: And their damp-trousered pa.
Snake: A singing family,
it's worse than I feared,
for hostage purposes,
you're just too weird. Bye!
Homer: See? All this singing scared him away,
if we just talked like normal he'd probably stay.
Lisa: Many people in this town sing like we do.
There's Mr. Burns, there's Krusty, and even Apu.

Lisa: Because he was singing,
we overheard his plan,
and could save those dogs from that mean old man.
Bart: It still wasn't worth,
Burns' song and dance.
Snake: I'm back so resume,
wetting your pants.
Homer: Okay.

Snake: Because of you all I've got a tune in my head,
and the only way to stop it is to make you all dead.
Say your prayers, and then it's kablamo.
Uh-oh, I'll be back when I get some ammo. Bye!
Homer: Even the criminals are beginning to croon.
Marge: Homey, this whole town runs on a tune.
Our churches, our clubs, our government too.
Bart: Springfield swings like a pendulum do.
Lisa: We can't even get any local laws passed,
without everyone a big broadway cast.

Homer: All right Marge,
you've convinced me,
there are more terrible things
than musical comedies where everyone sings.
Lisa: There is something worse.
Bart: And it really does blow.
All: When a long running series does a cheesy clip show!
Snake: I'm back to commit felonious assault,
because your infernal singing,
just would not halt.

Homer: Is this car fifteen thousand dollars?
Salesman: (rubs off the $12 000 price tag) It is now. And because of your loss, folks, I'll throw in the undercoating for two hundre… no, four hundred and ninety bucks!
Homer: What a deal! I'd be a sucker to get it!
Bart: I don't know about this, dad, shouldn't we give the money to charity or some… Oww!
Salesman: Oh, I'm sorry, I jammed you with my pen.
Bart: Oww! You're still doing it!
Salesman: I know.

Homer: We've got to give this greedy town its money back!
Lisa: But we don't have $15,000.
Marge: Unless...
(Cut to Marge, contestants, and Trebek on Jeopardy! set. We see the players' scores. $10,000 for the first, $8,500 for the second, and -$5,200 for Marge.)
(As the Simpsons walk off the stage, they are confronted by Trebek)
Trebek: Aren't we forgetting something, Marge? You were down $5,200.
Marge: But Mr. Trebek-
Trebek: I asked you before the game if you knew the rules and you said you did. Judges?
(Two thugs carrying clubs step out from shadows)
Lisa: Run, mom!
(The Simpsons run off the set)
Thug #1: Hmm, she's not getting the home game.

Homer: Oh no, look at the line!
Moe: (Noticing them) Oh there they are.
Wiggum: Oh, look at the swindlers.
(People start leaving.)
Skinner: It's the Simpsons
Moe: Aw, them Stinkin…
Ned: Well, there goes Christmas dinner.
Edna: Hah!
(The restaurant's empty)
Homer: (impressed) Ah, head of the line. A family could get used to being shunned. Huh? Huh?
(Behind the counter, bitter teenagers spit in shakes and hamburgers.)
Teen: (noticing them) Hey look, Shawn. It's that family everybody hates.
Shawn: What-ever.
(They continue spitting)

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