Chalkboard: None

Couch: The Simpsons go to sit on the couch, but it moves back and everyone falls on their butts. School bully Nelson Muntz pops up from behind the couch and laughs at The Simpsons.

Chief Wiggum: Word around here is your game is crooked.
Homer: And how!
Chief Wiggum: Well, perhaps we can come to an "understanding".
Homer: I understand.
Bart: Uh, Dad?
Homer: Not now son. Daddy's talking to the policeman.
Chief Wiggum: Let me put it to you this way. I'm looking for my friend Bill. Have you seen any bills around here?
Homer: No… he's Bart.
Chief Wiggum: Okay, let's try this again and watch as I wink each time. The man I'm really looking for… wink… is Mr Bribe… Wink, wink! … That's it, I'm shutting this place down!

*later*
Cooder: Why didn't you offer them a bribe.
Homer: I tried but the opportunity never came up!

Marge: We can't just give up on our house. There's got to be a way to get these guys out of there.
Bart: I say we set fire to the house, kill them that way.
Marge: We don't want to kill them, we just want our home back!
Lisa: Well...if we did set fire to the house--
Marge: No fires!
Homer: I've got it!
Marge: No fires!
Homer: Aw.
Marge: There must be a way to outsmart them.
Homer: Uh, you can't outsmart carnival folk. They're the cleverest folks in the world. Just look at the way they sucker regular folk with those crooked games--That's it! Fire!

Marge: (after finding out that the kids bailed on their yard work) I see…no chores, no allowance!
Lisa: That's okay; we get free rent here anyway.
Bart: And Santa provides the rest!
(Marge is obviously unimpressed, the kids hear some carnival music)
Lisa: The carnival!
Bart: We need money fast!
Marge: Well, well, well, looks like somebody’s gonna have to do some yar…
Homer: Its carnival time! Here's money kids, take what you need!
Bart/Lisa: All right, free money!
Homer/Bart/Lisa: Ding, ding, ding…