Chief Wiggum: Word around here is your game is crooked.
Homer: And how!
Chief Wiggum: Well, perhaps we can come to an "understanding".
Homer: I understand.
Bart: Uh, Dad?
Homer: Not now son. Daddy's talking to the policeman.
Chief Wiggum: Let me put it to you this way. I'm looking for my friend Bill. Have you seen any bills around here?
Homer: No… he's Bart.
Chief Wiggum: Okay, let's try this again and watch as I wink each time. The man I'm really looking for… wink… is Mr Bribe… Wink, wink! … That's it, I'm shutting this place down!
Cooder: Why didn't you offer them a bribe.
Homer: I tried but the opportunity never came up!
Marge: We can't just give up on our house. There's got to be a way to get these guys out of there.
Bart: I say we set fire to the house, kill them that way.
Marge: We don't want to kill them, we just want our home back!
Lisa: Well...if we did set fire to the house--
Marge: No fires!
Homer: I've got it!
Marge: No fires!
Marge: There must be a way to outsmart them.
Homer: Uh, you can't outsmart carnival folk. They're the cleverest folks in the world. Just look at the way they sucker regular folk with those crooked games--That's it! Fire!
Marge: (after finding out that the kids bailed on their yard work) I see…no chores, no allowance!
Lisa: That's okay; we get free rent here anyway.
Bart: And Santa provides the rest!
(Marge is obviously unimpressed, the kids hear some carnival music)
Lisa: The carnival!
Bart: We need money fast!
Marge: Well, well, well, looks like somebody’s gonna have to do some yar…
Homer: Its carnival time! Here's money kids, take what you need!
Bart/Lisa: All right, free money!
Homer/Bart/Lisa: Ding, ding, ding…