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While filling out a Screen Actors Guild form (after starring in an instructional video filmed at the nuclear plant), Homer realizes that he doesn't know what his middle initial "J" stands for. After finding the (obvious) answer on a mural in the hippie commune where his mother once lived, Homer decides to live the hippie lifestyle.
Chalkboard: No one cares what my definition of "is" is
Couch: The family sits; a safety bar lowers over their laps and the couch zooms around the room like a roller coaster car.
Bart: Uh, so Dad, regarding that form, why not just make up a middle name?
Lisa: You might as well. You already made up a phony film credit.
Homer: No! Homer Simpson does not lie twice on the same form. He never has, and he never will.
Marge: You lied dozens of times on our mortgage application.
Homer: Yeah, but they were all part of a single ball of lies. The point is, I'm a grown man, and I deserve a middle name.
Grampa: Hmm. I know where we might find your missing moniker. It's a bit of a drive, but on the way, we can have a nice father-son chat.
Homer: Great! I'll go shoot myself for bringing this up.
Marge: You know, I really don't appreciate being called a narc. And that poncho is filthy! Let me dry-clean it for you.
Homer: Why do you have to turn everything into one big plastic hassle? Marge, you've got too many hang-ups. Like the whole shaving trip. Come on, I want to see those legs all furry and gross!
Marge: That ain't gonna happen, bub.
Homer: Well, at least lose the bra. Free the Springfield Two, Marge! Free the Springfield Two!
Marge: Doctor, will he be all right?
Dr. Hibbert: Yes, he was lucky. If that had been a gladiola, he'd be dead right now.
Bart: Why don't you just pull it out?
Dr. Hibbert: (Chuckles) I'm a doctor, not a gardener!
Homer: Can't you just prune some of the leaves so I can watch TV?
Dr. Hibbert: What did I just say?
Homer: Hi, Marge! We're freaking out squares!
Marge: Oh, Lord.
Homer: What's in your brand-new bag, momma?
Marge: Oh, it's that pair of Dockers you wanted. Forty-eight waist with the balloon seat, right?
(Seth and Munchie laugh.)
Homer: Marge, not in front of the hippies.