Chalkboard: "The President did it" is not an excuse

Couch: Repeat of the couch gag from "Bart Star" where the Simpsons get crushed into a cube by two side compressors and an above compressor.

Quimby: You call yourselves bodyguards!? You're fired!
Ernie: Fired, huh? Who else you gonna find to take a bullet for ya?
Big Tom: Or have his genitals hooked up to a car battery?
Quimby: I'll tell ya who... Him!
Homer: Woohoo!
Marge: Homer, I don't think you were listening to what he just -
Homer: I said woo-hoo!

Mark Hamill: You're in luck, because we're going to act out a scene, and I'll need a volunteer to play Obi-Wan.
Principal Skinner: (ears pricked) Kenobi??
Lenny: Mark, Mark, pick me! My whole life has been leading up to this moment!
Carl: Like hell it has! If anybody's gonna play Obi, it's me!
Professor Frink: Step back foolish amateurs, keep back, keep back! The role is mine, with the "Luke, Luke, save me!" and the light saber, and the fwing, fwing...
Groundskeeper Willie: That's not how ya fwing! (punches Frink)

Restaurant Employee: YEEEEEESSSSSS?
Homer: Do you have a table for the mayor?
Restaurant Employee: YEEEEEESSSSS!
Homer: Why do you talk like that?
Restaurant Employee: I had a strrroooke!

Publicist: People, people! This man has actually been in outer space!
Edna: Hah! Nobody cares!
Neil Armstrong: This is one small step towards firing your ass!