Chalkboard: A trained ape could not teach gym
Couch: Repeat of the "Dr. Strangelove"-style couch gag from "Wild Barts Can't Be Broken" where The Simpsons (wearing white cowboy hats) straddle the couch and scream "Yahoo!" as it falls through the floor.
Homer: Yeah, that's one fine lookin'-(BBQ pieces fall in cement) Stupid Lisa! Cement drying. AHH! English side ruined, must use French instructions! Le grille? What the hell is that?!?! Gotta improvise. (Homer puts together grill hastily, time passes) Ah, that's one fine lookin' barbeque pit. (Puts down box) Why doesn't mine look like that?! (Hits barbeque pit) Why must everything in life be so hard? Why must I fail at every attempt at masonry!?
Marge (in house): How's your father's project coming along?
Bart: I think he's almost done. (Outside, Homer rams an umbrella into the pit and it opens) He's done.
Mr. Burns: Smithers, I think I'm in love!
(Smithers gasps happily)
Mr. Burns: With this sculpture!
Smithers: Sir, that's by Homer Simpson. I don't think you want to buy it.
Mr. Burns: Smithers, years ago I blew the chance to buy Picasso's Guernica for a song! Luckily, that song was "White Christmas", and by hanging onto it I made billions. Anyway, I love this hideous thing. Young lady, I'll take it!
Ned: What the flood?! Maude, it's a miracle! The Lord has drowned the wicked and spared the righteous.
Maude: Hey, isn't that Homer Simpson?
Ned: Looks like heaven's easier to get into than Arizona State.
(Homer is shoving the failed grill into a Toys for Tots drop-box.)
Chief Wiggum: Hold on there, Santa Claus, that box is for toys only.
Homer: Well, of course. Any kid would love to have this...uh...activity center. It teaches them while they learn.