Chalkboard: I have neither been there nor done that

Couch: Repeat of the circus/showbiz extravaganza couch gag from "Lisa's First Word".

Appraiser: This gentleman's beer tap dates back to the turn of the century, and remarkably, seems to have never been washed.
Moe: Yeah, yeah, I've been meaning to wash that, but, heh, it's been such a century.
Appraiser: At auction, I'd expect this to bring twenty to thirty thousand dollars, except that on the handle, somebody's carved "Homer rocks".
Homer: And I do. Woo hoo!
Appraiser: Appraised value, $15.
Moe: I'm gonna kill him! I'm gonna kill him!

Burns: Where's my monster, tubby? What do you people think I'm paying you for?
Homer: Um, to work in your power plant?
Willie: You're not paying me anything.
Frink: You kidnapped me. I remember it distinctly with the grabbing, duct taping, tennis ball in the mouth. It hurt me!

Homer: Well, if you wanted people to love you, you sure blew it with that insane rampage. But, you know what? To be loved, you have to be nice to people, every day, but to be hated; you don't have to do squat!
Burns: You know, perhaps you're right! I got so swept over the notion of being liked; I completely forgot who I am … I'm a selfish old crank.

Homer (about Arthur Fortune): Do you know what that fabulous man did? He gave the Springfield Zoo two male pandas, and convinced them to mate successfully!
Mr. Burns: And a stunt like that impresses people?
Homer: Yeah, and I'm not easily impressed. WOW! A blue car!