Chalkboard: I won't not use no double negatives

Couch: A cement truck pours out concrete statues of the Simpson family. The top half of Homer’s statue quickly breaks off and falls to the floor.

Lenny: Wow, Homer, that's four strikes in a row! You got a perfect game goin'.
Carl: Careful what you say, Lenny. You'll jinx it.
Lenny: Oh, right... Miss! Miss!
(Homer looks at Lenny)
Lenny: What? I was callin' the waitress. This split you sold me is makin' me choke.
Carl: Lenny!
Lenny: What? I payed $7.10 for this split!
Carl: Well, can you at least call it a banana split, you dumbwad?
Lenny: Spare me your gutter mouth.
(Lenny is hit with a bowling ball)

Homer: (On the phone) The cooling tank just blew, and they're taking Lenny to the hospital.
Marge: Oh, no! Not Lenny! Not Lenny!
Homer: Yes, I'm going have to work late instead of seeing you and the kids, which is what I really want.
Marge: Okay, sure.
(She hangs up)
Marge: Kids, turn off the TV. I have some bad news about Lenny.
Bart & Lisa: Not Lenny!

Homer: Oh this is the worst day ever.
Lenny: Hey Homer, what gives?
Homer: Mr. Burns is making me eat all these drums of toxic waste!
Carl: Geez, that's rough. There must be 2 to 300 gallons in here.
Lenny: And even a teaspoon could cause a fatal tumor.