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The Simpsons: Grift of the Magi

When Springfield Elementary goes bankrupt after blowing all their funds on a system of shoddy wheelchair ramps (to help Bart after he is confined to a wheelchair following an injury to his coccyx), a toy company takes over the school with a marketing scheme in mind.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 11x9
Production Number: BABF07
Airdate: Sunday December 19th, 1999

Guest Stars
Gary ColemanGary Coleman
voiced Himself
Joe MantegnaJoe Mantegna
voiced Fat Tony
Karl WiedergottKarl Wiedergott
voiced Various
Marcia WallaceMarcia Wallace
voiced Various
Pamela HaydenPamela Hayden
voiced Milhouse
Russi TaylorRussi Taylor
voiced Martin, Sherri, Terri
Tress MacNeilleTress MacNeille
voiced Lindsay Naegle
Clarence ClemonsClarence Clemons
voiced Narrator
Tim RobbinsTim Robbins
voiced Jim Hope
Main Cast
Dan CastellanetaDan Castellaneta
voiced Homer Simpson, Abraham Simpson, Krusty the Klown, Barney, Willy, Sideshow Mel, Mayor Quimby, Hans Moleman, Gil, Itchy, Various
Julie KavnerJulie Kavner
voiced Marjorie "Marge" Bouvier Simpson, Patty Bouvier, Selma Bouvier, Jacqueline Ingrid Bouvier, Various
Nancy CartwrightNancy Cartwright
voiced Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, Kearney, Various
Yeardley SmithYeardley Smith
voiced Lisa Simpson, Various
Hank AzariaHank Azaria
voiced Apu, Moe, Chief Wiggum, Carl, Comic Book Guy, Dr. Nick Riviera, Prof. Frink, Cletus, Sea Captain, Kirk Van Houten, Various
Harry ShearerHarry Shearer
voiced Mr. Burns, Smithers, Dr. Marvin Monroe, Ned Flanders, Seymour Skinner, Otto, Kent Brockman, Dr. Hibbert, Lenny, Rev. Lovejoy, Various
Episode Notes
Chalkboard: I will not sell my kidney on eBay

Couch: Marge, Lisa, Bart, and Maggie slide down a fire pole that's next to the couch. Homer, however, gets stuck in the ceiling hole and flails about helplessly.

Episode Quotes
(The Funzo Commercial. A little girl comes down on Christmas morning...)
Funzo: I SEE you... (the girl gasps and picks up a Funzo) Give me a hug!
Lisa: (watching the commercial; gasps) That's the doll that attacked me!
Announcer: This Christmas, everybody wants Funzo.
Lisa: "Funzo?" I said that name in class.
(In the commercial, the girl hugs her Funzo)
Little Girl: Funzo's soft and cuddly...
Little Boy: With lots of firepower! (his Funzo opens its mouth and a rocket zooms out and hits the girl in the eye; the girl screams in pain) Yes!
Funzo: (Nelson-style) Haw-haw!
(The camera zooms in on an image of Funzo three times)
Announcer: Funzo! Funzo! Funzo! If you don't have Funzo, you're nothing!
(A boy plays with a puppy that licks his face, then the boy throws the dog offscreen just to cuddle a Funzo!)

Ralph: Fun toys are fun!
Teacher: Well said, Ralph, but we're trying to come up with a name for a toy.
Janie: Mrs. Fun?
Teacher: Not bad.
Ralph: Fun?
Teacher: Listen, Ralph, there are no right or wrong answers, but if you don't pipe down I'm giving you an F!
Ralph: The before teacher yelled at me too!

Principal Skinner: The good news is, we no longer fear vicious mob reprisals, but due to lack of funds, Springfield Elementary is closed forever.
Kids: Yay!
Principal Skinner: You may be cheering now, but someday, you'll--
Kids: Yay!
Principal Skinner: I'm just going to stop caring.
Kids: Yay!

Skinner: No, no! We're not building anything.
Fat Tony: How can you say that? When construction has already begun?
Skinner: How did those trucks get here so fast?
Fat Tony: To avoid certain legal complications, the truck are always moving.

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