Chalkboard: Substitute teachers are not scabs

Couch: The Simpsons are karate blackbelts who chop the couch to pieces while sensei Homer does a roundhouse kick and flicks on the TV via a remote.

All jockeys (chanting): Freaks, freaks, freaks!
All jockeys: We are the jockeys, jockeys are we. We live underground in a fiberglass tree.
Jockey 1: Hah!
Jockey 2: Ooo!
Jockey 3: Haha!
Jockey 3: 'tween Earth and Hell, we reign supreme,
Jockey 4: on toadstool thrones by a chocolate stream.
Jockey 5: But all is not well in Jockey Town.
Jockey 6: Your renegade horse is making us frown.
Homer (spoken): What do you want me to do?
Jockey 7: Your horse must lose.
Homer (spoken): My horse must lose?
Jockey 7: No win!
Jockey 8: No show!
Jockey 3: No place!
Jockey 4: Just lose the stinkin' race.
Homer (spoken): And what if I refuse to lose?
Jockey 7: We'll eat your brain.
Homer (singing): My horse must lose!

Man: Be sure to stick around for the battle of the elementary school bands.
Homer: Ohhh.
Marge: Homer, Lisa's in that!
Homer: I stand by my disappointed groan.

Bill Clinton: Thank you, Lisa, for teaching kids everywhere a valuable lesson: If things don't go your way, just keep complaining until your dreams come true.
Marge: That's a pretty lousy lesson.
Bill Clinton: Hey, I'm a pretty lousy president.

The Comic Book Guy appears twice in this episode to point out two plotlines that have happened on The Simpsons before:

1) The Simpsons taking in a horse as a pet (and trying to raise money to keep it) was the plotline for the season three episode "Lisa's Pony".

2) Later, Lisa tells Marge that she may have a gambling problem, which was revealed in season five's "$pringfield (or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)" and mentioned again in season seven's "Bart the Fink" (on the part where Homer is at IRS Burger and he asks Marge how much she lost gambling the previous year).