Chalkboard: My suspension was not "mutual"
WCCB, the Fox affiliate in Charlotte, North Carolina, refused to air promos for this episode due to the scene where Lenny gets hit by a tire from a racecar crash (which mirrored a similar incident during the aborted Indy Racing League IndyCar Series Visionaire 500k event on May 1, 1999 where flying tires from a crash killed three spectators, forcing the track to abandon the race before the halfway point (104 of 208 laps).
Couch: There is no couch as The Simpsons are in bumper cars who end up slamming Homer against the wall.
Rachel Jordan (singing): In a motel room in Delacroix,
I was drinking like a Dartmouth boy,
And thinking about the wrong turns that I took,
I woke up on the puke-green floor,
And opened up a dresser drawer,
Looking for a bottle but instead I found a book!
A book about a man,
A book about the dude who lives above,
A book about a man,
Who drives a pick-up full of sweet sweet love!
So if you think he doesn't care,
Or maybe that he isn't there,
It's not too late to see how wrong you are.
So if your soul has gone astray,
Just let God be your Triple A,
He'll tow you to salvation,
And he'll overhaul your heart!
Moe: Look Ned, I know we ain’t hung out much, what with your insane fear of drinking and me being banned from the church and all but eh, that Maude, she was really something.
Ned: Oh, wasn't she. Thank you Moe, I really appreciate that.
Moe: I really mean it though, If it was you that died, I would have been on her so fast!
Ned: What are you saying!?
Moe: What, nothing, she was hot, what you can't take a compliment?
Homer: So, how are you doing, Ned?
Flanders: Ah, it's been a hard couple of months, but I feel like I've turned a corner.
Homer: Well that's all gonna change, thanks to this tape. (holds up a videotape)
Homer: Now, the audio needs some tweaking and there's some footage of Maggie being born that I couldn't get rid of...anyway, enjoy. (puts the tape in the VCR)
(cut to the screen, which shows the sun rising over the city)
Homer: (voice-over) Single women of Springfield, your prayers have been Flanswered...(shot of Flanders' head spins in overlaying the city)...Ned Flanswered, that is.
Flanders: Is this a dating video?
(back to the video, a shot of Flanders's house)
Homer: (voice-over) What would you say about a man who owns his own house ... (Flanders pulls up in the driveway)...and his own car? That's Ned Flanders.
(cut to a shot of Flanders at home)
A man who's not afraid to cry.
(offscreen) Hey, Ned! (a hand reaches in and sprays Ned with pepper spray. Flanders screams and winces with pain)
Flanders: So that's why you maced me.
Homer: (chuckles) Yeah.
(back to the video, showing Ned at an ATM machine)
Homer: (voice-over) Ned does everything with class, whether it's punching in his ATM code...(Homer does a close-up on the machine, revealing Flanders's ATM code)
...or keeping clean in the shower. (cut to a shot of Flanders showering. His surprisingly large johnson is digitized to keep it private)
Homer: But don't take my word for it. Listen to this testimonial.
(on tape, shot of Chief Wiggum in testamonial)
Wiggum: (on tape) Oh I would date Ned in a second if I was a woman or gay. He looks like a cuddler, that Ned. I, I like that. I like to be held, I like to be pampered. (a gunshot is heard, an alarm goes off, and tires peel out in the distance. Wiggum is still lost in thought)
(cut to a shot of Carl, Moe, and Lenny standing in front of Moe's tavern)
Homer: (voice-over) So if you're tired of dating the same old losers ...
Carl: What are you doing, Homer?
Homer:...step up to the best. (shot of Ned's muscular chest) Ned Flanders, the man with the chest!
(patriotic music plays, and then abruptly cut to Marge in labor with Maggie)
Ned: (real life) Ew!