Chalkboard: I am not here on a fartball scholarship

According to the website nohomers.net, "Kill the Alligator and Run" is #1 on the list of "Worst Simpsons Episodes Ever".

Couch: The Simpsons (save Maggie) are barefoot and briskly walking across a bed of hot coals in order to reach the couch. When they sit down, they prop up their feet, the undersides of which are black and smoldering.

Marge: My goodness, what a lovely suit, sheriff. Is that seersucker?
Sheriff: Nah, not on a civil servant's salary. It's nearsucker.
Marge: Well, the fabric really brings out the red in your neck.
Sheriff: Yup, it's coming along, huh? You should see it in August after the horseflies been getting' at it. Hoo, man!
Marge: Dang, I wish I could, but in August, our chain gang has to dig for tar.
Sheriff: Well, now, I might could switch you to dead animal pickup.

Judge: Well, looks like you folks are free to go. But don't you set foot in the state of Florida again.
Homer: Fine. There are plenty of other states that are happy to have us.
(cut to the Simpsons' living room. A map of the United States is set on an easel. There is a black "X" drawn through all the states except Arizona, Florida, and North Dakota)
Marge: (draws an "X" on the map through Florida) Well, we're still welcome in North Dakota, and Arizona.
Homer: Arizona smells funny.
(Marge grumbles and draws an "X" through Arizona)
Lisa: North Dakota, here we come!
Bart: I always wanted to see Mount Rushmore!
Marge: That's South Dakota.
Bart: (disappointed) Ohh.

Velma: You took the signs out of the window? That's pretty presumptuous. How do you know I'm going to hire you?
Bart: Sorry, I just want to be a broom boy so bad.
Velma: I like your attitude. You're hired. (to Lisa) How 'bout you missy? You want to be a mop girl?
Lisa: Not really, no.
Velma: I like your honesty. You're hired. (to Marge and Homer) And you two haven't said a word. I like that - you're hired.

Homer: Okay, Flanders, your love quiz score is … 61. That makes you a, "Frigid Frieda." I took off 30 points for all that crying you did.
Ned: It was a little insensitive of you giving me a sex test, seeing as my wife just passed away.
Homer: No way! When?
Ned: Six months ago. You were at the funeral. You fell into the grave!
Homer: He-he. Oh, yeah. I saw a gopher. What a day!

(The Simpsons are in court for killing Captain Jack)
Homer: Your Honor, I'd like to defend myself. (turns to look offscreen): Drunken hicks of the jury...
(cut to an angry group of rednecks in the jury box, one of which is drinking a beer)
(cut again to a sunset shot of The Simpsons and other prisoners in a chain gang, breaking rocks with sledgehammers)