Chalkboard: I will not surprise the incontinent
Couch: The shot opens on the TV rather than the couch, and the family runs in and freezes in mid-air; the camera pans around them in bullet-time (like in the movie The Matrix and in the Gap Khaki commercials at the time that featured swing dancing), then when the camera is angled on the couch, time resumes normally as they sit.
Marge: So Mr. King, what tales of horror and macabre do you have for us today?
Stephen King: Oh, I've stop doing horror for awhile. I'm actually doing a biography on Benjamin Franklin. He was a very fascinating man. Did you know that he discovered electricity? He used it to torture small animals and green mountain men. And that key he tied on the end of the kite, IT OPENED THE GATES OF HELL! (Lightning flashes in background)
Marge: Ok, well tell me when you get back to horror.
Stephen King: Will do.
Krusty: You probably think I'm perfect, don't you?
Sophie: I don't.
Krusty: Well, I lost your violin to a bet in a poker game.
Krusty: Don't worry; I got you an even better instrument.
Sophie: Dad, that's a ukulele.
Krusty: It's the thinking man's violin.
Fat Tony: Now some unpleasant news. I have learned that someone in this room is a squealer.
Legs: We've narrowed it down to either Johnny Tightlips or Frankie The Squealer.
Frankie The Squealer: Okay, it's me! I can't help it! I just like squealing! It makes me feel big!