Chalkboard: I am not the acting President

Couch: Maggie is on the couch. The rest of the Simpsons waddle in dressed as The Teletubbies and Maggie applauds with delight.

This Log is Your Log


Singers: (sung to the tune of "This Land")
This log is your log.
This log is my log.
When lightening struck it,
It kicked the bucket.
Moe: I poured some onions,
Inside my trousers.
Singers: This log -- it used to be a tree.
Now it spreads love to you and me.
Hey, look, it's headed out to sea.

Quimby: What am I bid for the logging rights to Springfield's oldest redwood tree?
Man: $30,000 to make cages for animal experimentations.
Another Man: 50,000 for Thai menu's. Daughter on wait list at Bennington.
Tex: 100,000 simoleans to make the world's first drive-through humidor.
Quimby: Uh, sold to the rich Texan!

Krusty: Five, four, three, two, one. Well, that's all the time we have. So long kids!
Announcer:Krusty the Clown is brought to you by the new Gamestation 256: It's slightly faster...to the max!
Bart: 256. (groan) And I'm stuck with this useless 252? (he drop-kicks the system into the fireplace, where it slowly melts)
Gamestation 252: Don't destroy me! I can still make you happy ... to the max!

Mr. Thai: You quitta! Quitta boy! Quitta boy!
Bart: I'm sorry.
Mr. Thai: Now restaurant fail. Children go to state college. Serious students powerless against drunken jockocracy. Baseball hats everywhere.
Bart: Hey, man. This job is too dangerous.
Mr. Thai: Menu boy no be coward like shrimp! Menu boy be brave like prawn!