Chalkboard: The nurse is not dealing

Couch: The Simpsons swim to the couch in deep-sea diving gear. The camera zooms out to reveal that the living room is in a fish bowl.

Homer: Lies got us into this mess, Son. From now on, it's honesty all the way.
(at Home)
Marge: You were carjacked … in the church parking lot?!
Homer: Absolutely. We had stopped in for a quick prayer, when -- Bart, would you call him a crazy man?
Bart: Definitely … well, crazy about carjacking.
Lisa: What did he look like?
Homer: Um … let's see … he was … foreign … and he had…
Bart: Wild, bushy hair -- like an animal!
Lisa: Anything else?
Homer: Well, he seemed like a loner -- kept to himself, mostly.
Bart: And, he said if we went to the cops, he'd come back for Maggie.
Marge: (gasps) Oh, dear! We don't want that!
Homer: Any who, the whole nightmare has really made us sleepy. Let's hit the hay.

Mechanic: (inspects the fish on top of the SImpsons car) Well, there's your problem.
Homer: I know that! How much to fix it?
Mechanic: Well, that's a foreign fish we're looking at, uh, 6,500 ...plus 3.50.
Homer: Oh, I can't afford that!
Bart: Maybe I can make some money, Dad. The magic act is really coming along. (pulls Snowball II from a top hat, who gasps for air)
Homer: Heh-heh-heh. He couldn't breathe.

Kent: Oh, excuse me.
Bart: (pretending to be blind) What happened? Where's my cake? It's alright, isn't it?
Kent: Um….
Homer: What have you done, you clumsy little ox?! That cake was for your deaf sister!
Kent: Sir, it was my fault--
Homer: No, no. Don't protect him. (to Bart) You'll work off that cake in the acid mines!
Kent: Oh, no, no! I'll pay for the cake.

Questo: And for the lady, a Long … Island iced tea.
(pulls the drink out of his jacket and sets it in front of Marge)
Marge: Oh, they ought to call that a "Large" Island iced tea! (only she laughs) No, "Long" is better.
Lisa: Are you really gonna to drink that?
Marge: Well, maybe a sip; I don't want to offend our mentalist.
Questo: (thinking) If she doesn't like it, I'll just die!

This episode's title is an adaptation of the “The Great Muppet Caper”, the 1981 Jim Henson film which was the second big screen Muppet venture after the 1979, The Muppet Movie.