Homer: Lies got us into this mess, Son. From now on, it's honesty all the way.
Marge: You were carjacked … in the church parking lot?!
Homer: Absolutely. We had stopped in for a quick prayer, when -- Bart, would you call him a crazy man?
Bart: Definitely … well, crazy about carjacking.
Lisa: What did he look like?
Homer: Um … let's see … he was … foreign … and he had…
Bart: Wild, bushy hair -- like an animal!
Lisa: Anything else?
Homer: Well, he seemed like a loner -- kept to himself, mostly.
Bart: And, he said if we went to the cops, he'd come back for Maggie.
Marge: (gasps) Oh, dear! We don't want that!
Homer: Any who, the whole nightmare has really made us sleepy. Let's hit the hay.
Mechanic: (inspects the fish on top of the SImpsons car) Well, there's your problem.
Homer: I know that! How much to fix it?
Mechanic: Well, that's a foreign fish we're looking at, uh, 6,500 ...plus 3.50.
Homer: Oh, I can't afford that!
Bart: Maybe I can make some money, Dad. The magic act is really coming along. (pulls Snowball II from a top hat, who gasps for air)
Homer: Heh-heh-heh. He couldn't breathe.
Kent: Oh, excuse me.
Bart: (pretending to be blind) What happened? Where's my cake? It's alright, isn't it?
Homer: What have you done, you clumsy little ox?! That cake was for your deaf sister!
Kent: Sir, it was my fault--
Homer: No, no. Don't protect him. (to Bart) You'll work off that cake in the acid mines!
Kent: Oh, no, no! I'll pay for the cake.
Questo: And for the lady, a Long … Island iced tea.
(pulls the drink out of his jacket and sets it in front of Marge)
Marge: Oh, they ought to call that a "Large" Island iced tea! (only she laughs) No, "Long" is better.
Lisa: Are you really gonna to drink that?
Marge: Well, maybe a sip; I don't want to offend our mentalist.
Questo: (thinking) If she doesn't like it, I'll just die!