Chalkboard: Science class should not end in tragedy
Couch: A football is thrown in the center of the living room. The Simpsons, dressed as football players, tackle each other for the ball. Maggie squirms out with ball in hand, spikes it, and does a victory dance.
(Bart and Lisa listen to the radio.)
Radio Announcer: The following schools are closed today; Shelbyville, Ogdenville, Ogdenville Tech, and Springfield Elementary...
(Bart and Lisa gasp in surprise.)
Radio Announcer: ...My Dear Watson Detective school.
Radio Announcer: And lastly, Springfield Elementary School...
Bart and Lisa: YAAAAAAAAY!
Radio Announcer: ...is OPEN!
Bart and Lisa: Awwwwwww!!!
Radio Announcer: And it's open season on savings at Springfield Menswear... which is closed.
Nelson: Skinner gets paid $25,000 a year.
Bart: Let's see, he's 40 years old...wow, he's a millionaire!
Skinner: I wasn't a principal when I was one!
Milhouse: And in the summer, he paints houses. He's a billionaire!
Skinner: If I was a billionaire, why would I still be living with my mother?
Skinner: They don't seem to listen to logic anymore.
Ralph: Mr. Army Man? I can't sleep without my Reggie Rabbit!
Skinner: Is that some sort of plush novelty?
Ralph: Yes ma'am.
Skinner: Uh, well here's a scouring pad, it's just as good.
Ralph: It's cold and hurty!
(Ralph holds a scouring pad against his cheek.)
Ralph: It's cold, and hurty!