Chalkboard: I will not "let the dogs out"
Couch: Repeat of the couch gag from "Ain't Misbehavin'" where the Simpsons sit on the couch and the wall spins around, revealing a Vincent Price-esque mad scientist cackling as he holds Ned Flanders prisoner.
Wiggum: My wife and I like watching that Oz show on HBO. Uh, is … is prison really like that?
Jack: Wouldn't know. We only get basic cable.
Wiggum: Ouch. I also like that Sex in the City. None of those girls looks like my wife. (laughs)
Jack: Sports Center's not bad.
Wiggum: Yeah, I never got that show.
Jack: What's to get? They just tell the scores.
Wiggum: Yeah, I suppose, yeah. Hey, ya meet any Mob guys? Are they really like the Sopranos?
Jack: I told you, we just get basic cable.
Wiggum: Oh right, right, right. Listen, if I'm getting too chatty, just, uh, just tell me to shut up.
Jack: Ah, I'm enjoying it. Hey, you ever watch them strongman contests? They're pretty good. Those guys look strong. Other guys in prison say they're gay, but I don't know; they look strong to me.
(Homer visits a chiropractor for the first time as he sits on the doctors' table.)
Dr. Steve: Hello, Homer. I am Dr. Steve. Please lie down.
(He begins feeling Homer's back for the problem, and Homer falls asleep.)
Dr. Steve: Wake up, Homer!
Homer: Huh? Less yakking, more cracking!
Dr. Steve: Now Homer, we don't actually "crack" backs; it's merely an adjustment. OK, you're going to hear a loud cracking sound. (cracks Homer's back) There we go.
Homer: Hey! It feels a little better!
Dr. Steve: Mm-hmm, I thought it might. Now, I need to see you three times a week, for, uh… (checks his clipboard) …many years.
Marge: I read in the "Daily Fourth Gradian" that you need someone to paint a mural.
Skinner: Yeah …school spirit is down 3.4 percent
Marge: Well, Jack here will do great work for you.
Skinner: Oh, any references?
Jack: Well, to be honest with you, I spent the last six years in Waterville State.
Marge: It's a small liberal arts college. Very law-abiding. No convicts at all.
Skinner: Well, the only other one to apply was Moe Szyslak and his stuff scares the hell out of me. (shows them a drawing Moe did) Ugh! How can anyone consider that making love?
Marge: Well, I studied art, and this guy's got a real gift.
Warden: You kidding? Look (shows another painting) he painted a unicorn in outer space. I'm asking you: What's it breathing?
Warden: Ain't no air in space.
Homer: There's an air-in-space museum.