Chalkboard: Fire is not the cleanser

Couch: A repeat of the couch gag from "Homer vs. Dignity" where everyone (but Homer) successfully skateboards off a ramp and onto the couch.

Lisa: I'll get us out of this. Say dad, wanna go see my project for the school science fair?
Homer: No Lisa... but I sure don't wanna eat this crappy breakfast!

Ned: (telling Rod a story) ...and Harry Potter and all his wizard friends went straight to hell for practicing witchcraft!

Marge: I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!
Homer: (runs pain driven around the kitchen table) Sorry doesn't put thumbs on the hand, Marge!

Homer: Reattach a thumb? This isn't Gattaca!

Marge: We gotta get to the hospital, Homer!
Homer: Okay. If the doctor asks why you cut it off, you caught me in bed with four beautiful women!

Milhouse: (Showing Bart the cave) This is where I come to cry.

Lisa: [...] If you misuse language, he'll correct you!
Homer: Well, let’s put him to the test! Me love beer!
Linguo: I love beer!
Homer: Ahh He loves beer! Here little fellah!
Lisa: Dad, no!
Linguo: GERROR!
Homer: I'm sorry; I thought he was a party robot.

(Chief Wiggum listens to an informant over the radio.)
Fat Tony: (On radio) I'd be delighted to sell you some illegally smuggled goods.
Lisa: That sounds like Fat Tony.
Chief Wiggum: Only one way to find out. (Talks through microphone) Fat Tony, is that you? Fat Tony?
Legs: (On radio) Hey, where's that voice coming from?
Louie: (On radio) This guy's wearing a wire!
Fat Tony: (On radio) Take him out!
(Gunfire is heard)
Chief Wiggum: My bad! I can't work my answering machine either.

Ned claims that Harry Potter (and all of his wizard friends) burned in hell. This is a reference to the fictional British wizard from JK Rowling’s books. You may read more about the character in the wikipeida article.