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When Homer refuses to pay a five dollar airport tax to fly to Delaware, the family is forced to ride in a livestock car of a train instead. There they meet a singing hobo who tells three tall tales: Homer as giant lumberjack Paul Bunyan, Lisa as apple advocate Connie Appleseed, and Bart and Nelson as Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn.
Chalkboard: I should not be twenty-one by now
Couch: A repeat of the couch gag from "Missionary Impossible" where the couch is the bench at a subway station and the family sits down, only to board the next subway car and leave the couch empty.
Hobo: Ahem! I believe I told three stories!
Homer: Aww! I'll meet you in Wilmington.
Hobo: Close the Door. (Door Closes)
Homer: Raise your arm....OK the other one.....
Hobo: You know I do...400 Sit ups a day!.....
Homer: Oh it shows! I was gonna say something but I thought it might sound you know....weird!.....
Hobo: Oh not at all! I like when people say nice things about my body.....
Homer: And its important to feel good about yourself....Ok spread your toes...Oww, you know how much glass is in here!
Homer (singing): Cleaning my gun with the safety off, safety off, safety off. Cleaning my gun with the...whoopsie.
(Homer shoots a buffalo)
Lisa: Dad, you just killed a poor defenseless buffalo.
Homer: A poor DELICIOUS buffalo. He'll be dinner for the whole wagon train.
(Homer shoots another buffalo)
Lisa: Why'd you kill another one?
Hobo: So today, you can find apples in everything that's good: apple wine, apple martinis, apple schnapps, apple whiskey, uh, Snapple with vodka in it…
Lisa: Don't forget apple sauce.
Hobo: Yeah, I guess you could grind some pills into it…
Homer: Oh, I get it. When I'm crushing and killing you, you don't like me. But when I can save your lives, suddenly I'm Mr. Popular.
Lenny: Yeah, that's pretty much it.
Homer: Woo hoo! I'm Mr. Popular!
(Lisa offers Homer apples instead of buffalo meat)
Homer: Oh boy, buffalo testicles.