Episode Notes
Chalkboard: I do not have a cereal named after me
Couch: The couch is a slot machine that shows Homer, Marge, Bart, and Lisa in the tumbler windows. Maggie, however, is replaced by lucky number “7” as a pile of gold coins spill out and a jackpot siren wails.
Episode Quotes
Marge: (Whispering) Here she comes! and a-one, and a-two.
Family: (Singing) We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry--
Marge: Oh, hello, Lisa.
Lisa: I just came down to get a drink of water.
Marge: Oh. Well, Santa left you a present under tree. I guess no one informed him you were a Buddhist.
Lisa: Well, there's no present that could--Oh, my God! Is that a pony!?
Homer: I don't know what Santa left you! All I know is his name is Clip-Clop and he likes sugar.
Marge: (Kicking Maggie) Go, go!
(Maggie walks over and gives Lisa a candy cane.)
(Reverend Lovejoy peers through the living room window.)
Reverend Lovejoy: Lick it--
Lisa: Noooo!
Lenny: Richard Gere! The world's most famous Buddhist!
Carl: What about the Dalai Lama?
Lenny: Who's the Dalai Lama?
Carl: You know, the 14th Reincarnation of Buddha?
Lenny: Who's Buddha?
Richard Gere: It's a good thing Buddhism teaches freedom from desire, 'cause I've got the desire to kick your ass!
Marge: (Cheerfully) Who wants some astro-lemonade?
Nerd: What precisely makes it "astro"?
Marge: Look, I don't want to start a whole thing with this.
(Lenny and Carl meditating.)
Lenny: Who likes short shorts?
Carl: I like short shorts.
Richard Gere: Those guys are way off.