Chalkboard: None

Couch: The family are marionettes who get caught in each other's strings. The camera pans up to reveal Matt Groening as the puppet master, who throws the puppets down in frustration.

Homer: Wait, wait, wait, so in August it's cold?
Lisa: That's right.
Homer: And in February, it's hot?
Lisa: Mm-hm.
Homer: So it's opposite land! Crooks chase cops, cats have puppies!
Lisa: No, Dad, it's just the weather.
Homer: So hot snow falls up?

(Homer phones Marge from the kidnappers')
Homer: So, have you got the fifty thousand?
Marge: Well, with all our savings and the money Grandpa wired us… we have twelve hundred dollars.
Homer: Ooh, that's very nice, honey. (looks at clipboard) That'll buy you, uh, one of my legs or something they call a "mystery bag". I'll get back to you. (to the kidnappers) They have twelve hundred dollars.
Kidnapper: Twelve hundred dollars? Pfff, you've already EATEN that much!

Taxi Driver: My American friend, I'm afraid this is a kidnapping.
Homer: So that means I don't have to pay the fare.
Taxi Driver: I suppose.
Homer: Woo hoo!
Taxi Driver: I'm afraid you don't appreciate the seriousness of the situation.
Homer: Fine. Take me but let the boy go.
Taxi Driver: I'm afraid he has already gone.

Homer: Can we stop? I have to go to the bathroom.
Kidnapper: You just went five minutes ago!
Homer: I have a bladder the size of a brazilnut!
Kidnapper: Around here we just call them nuts.