Stan Lee: Hold it son. Wouldn't you rather have an exciting action figure?
Nerd: AHHHH, but Batman only fits in my Batmobile.
Stan Lee: Ha-are you nuts? The Thing fits in there perfectly. (stuffs The Thing into the Batmobile.) Look he's fitting right now.
Nerd: AHHHH you broke my Batmobile!
Stan Lee: Broke or made it better?
Angry Dad: Oh, what a day. Maybe the headlines will cheer me up.
(The headline says "You suck, Angry Dad")
Angry Dad: That's opinion, not news!
(His head inflates and his eyeballs explode)
Homer: (laughing) That guy's hilarious. I especially like his white shirt and blue pants. Wait a minute…Angry Dad is ME!
Lenny: Yeah, didn't you know? You've been world famous for an hour now.
Carl: You're the Internet's #1 non-porno site.
Lenny: Which makes you ten trillionth overall.
Homer: What kind of a monster would humiliate me like this?
(Comic Bart spray paints a logo on Angry Dad's back)
Comic Bart: This has been a Bartoon presentation, in association with Ay Carumba Entertainment.
(Angry Dad turns around and growls)
Homer: Whoever knew anger was savin' my life?
Bart: Ha ha, say it don't spray it.
Homer: Aargh! You're trying to make me angry! ...thanks.
Bart: You're not welcome.
Homer: Aargh!... I love you, boy.
Bart: Ha ha! You love a boy!
Homer: Stop it now.
Bart: If you love me so much, why don't you marry me?
Man on TV: Tonight: When dinosaurs get drunk...
(The dinosaur walks into the tar pit)
Homer: (Chuckles) Oh, I've been there, man.
Man on TV: ...has been cancelled.
Man on TV: Instead we bring you the boring world of Neils Bohr.
(Homer splats his ice cream sandwich at the TV)
Homer: My ice cream sandwich! And where the hell is that remote!?
(He starts tearing up the couch)
Bart: Oh, this is perfect.
(He draws Homer destroying the couch)
Bart: A couple of stinklines around his butt... and I'm done!
Nelson: Will you sign Martin's cast?
Martin: What cast?
(Nelson punches Martin)
Martin: Looks like I won't be swimming this summer.
Lisa: Bart, this is just Dad.
Bart: You know, it's a composite character. Your Dad, my Dad, little Maggie's Dad...
Lisa: No, it's just Dad!
Bart: Maybe Angry Dad needs a sidekick know-it-all sister!
Lisa: Can she have a pony? And the last line in the scene?