Chalkboard: None

Couch Gag: The family is sketched on to the couch with an Etch-a-Sketch (called a "Sketch-a-Etch")

History Channel Narrator: November, 1948. Americans pick their president. Victory seems certain for governor Thomas E. Dewey.
Homer: Dewey! Dewey! Dewey!
Lisa: Dad, I'm telling you, Truman wins.
Narrator: The headlines proclaim "Dewey defeats Truman".
Homer: Woohoo! I win the bet! Who's your daddy?
Narrator: But the headlines are dead wrong.
(Homer gasps)
Narrator: Harry Truman triumphs by two million votes.
Homer: Not if I can stop that inauguration!

Chief Wiggum: Ready.
Lisa: Mom! Do something!
Chief Wiggum: Aim.
Marge: I got to stop them from shooting I…I don't (Looks down at her Implants) Lisa don't hate me for this. (Runs on top of a stand)
Chief Wiggum: Continue Aiming. Still aiming.
Marge: Hey Cops! Check out this all points bulletin! (Removes her top and flashes the crowd)
Krusty: (Looking at Marge's implants) Whoa! Look at those Mugumbos!

Homer: You took a 20-karat diamond and made it gleam like a big spaghetti dinner covered in whipped creeeeeeeeeam!
Comic Book Guy: You're like X-men #3 in a Mylar bag...
Snake: You're a brand new muscle car and all the wheels are mag.
Mr. Burns: You make me feel as young as the blood I get from sheep...
McAllister: You're like Jacqueline Bisset in me favorite flm, "The Deeeep."
Moe: You're sexy and exotic like a hooker from Belize...
Dr. Hibbert: Or a patient with insurance who's crawling with disease.
All Men: You're a sundae underneath two great big cheriiiies...
Marge: Keep in mind they're only temporaaaaaaries...
All Men: Still we'd like to say that we are very, veeery, glad to see you...
Mayor Quimby: And I decree you...the hottest thing to hit this city since the fire that killed 11...
(all gasp)
Mayor Quimby: ...dangerous criminals!
All: Hooraaaaaay!
Homer: And they're all miiiiiiine!