Chalkboard: Milhouse did not test cootie positive

Couch: The Simpsons sit on the couch. A mouse cursor drags Homer from the left side of the couch to the right, changes the wall color to green by clicking on it, and clicks on the boat painting, changing it into the Mona Lisa.

Marge: Can't beat a skybox! All the excitement of being in the sky, with the security of being in a box.
Bart: Oh-ho-ho! This is gonna be the coolest basketball game ever!
Lisa: Actually, it says here we're gonna see hockey.
Homer, Marge and Bart: Noooo!

Cletus: All right! A people tooth! Open up Gummy Sue! This is your lucky day!
Cletus's Daughter: Now I's like Britney Spears!

Homer: 1895, forget it! We'd be too late to save Lincoln and too early to save Kennedy.
Moe: You can save McKinley.
Homer: It's not a time machine, Moe!

(The Simpsons are in Moe's trying to figure out where they can live while their house is being fumigated)
Barney: You know, I heard of a new reality show where they let you live in a home for free.
Carl: Oh, yeah. The gimmick is it's a house from 1895 - and you gotta do everything like they did back then.
Homer: 1895? Forget it. We'd be too late to save Lincoln and too early to save Kennedy.
Moe: You could save Mckinley.
Homer: It's not a time machine, Moe.

This episode's title is an adaptation of the phrase “Helter Skelter”, this was a song written by Paul McCartney, it was also made famous by the 1969 Sharon Tate/LaBianca murders. Helter Skelter was scrawled on the walls of the Tate mansion.