Bart: How did you get dad to go along with this?
Lisa: In his sleep-deprived state, he's very suggestible. Okay dad, you are now playing patty-cake with Maggie.
(Homer places hand on palm plate)
Computer: Palm recognized, access granted.
Homer: Awww, my baby's first words.
Declan Desmond's documentary "American Boneheads: A Day in the Life of Springfield Elementary"
Declan: Where do you think you will be in 7 years?
Ralph: I'm gonna live with underground grandma!
Jimbo: I'm gonna go to a 2-year technical school then work in a garage.
Kearney: (punching him) Sellout! Yuppie!
Dolph: Soccer mom!
Millhouse: I'll be batting 352 in the Majors!
(After several attempts to hit a pitch, Milhouse finally knocks the ball off a t-ball stand)
(He heads for first base but trips over the t-ball stand, knocking himself unconscious)
Declan: Did you get that, Simon? (Camera nods) Brilliant! Right, let's go to Moe's.
Kent Brockman: (newscast) Springfield's pro-darkness policy has resulted in a spree of vandalism unmatched since the Detroit Tigers last made the playoffs over two centuries ago! The government has issued an orange alert, which - once again - means nothing.