Chalkboard: None

Couch: The Simpsons are mimes walking against the wind and sitting on an imaginary couch.

Homer: No! I wanted to die choking on food!

Everybody Hates Ned Flanders:

Homer: Everybody in the USA,
Hates their stupid neighbor,
He's Flanders and he's really, really lame...
Flanders tried to wreck my song,
His views on birth control are wrong,
I hate his guts and Flanders is his name.

Lenny/Carl/Homer: F-L-A-N-R-D-S,
Homer: He's the man that I hate best,
I'd like to see his house go up in flames.

Lenny/Carl: F-L-A,
Homer: His name is Ned!
Lenny/Carl: E-R-S,
Homer: That's a stupid name!
He's worse than Frankenstein or Dr. No.

David Byrne: You can't upset him even slightly,
He just smiles and nods politely,
Then goes home and worships nightly,
His Leftorium, is an emporium, of woe!

Lenny/Carl: F-L-A,
Homer: Don't yell at Ned!
Lenny/Carl: D-E-R,
Homer: His wife is dead!
Everybody hates that stupid jerk!

David Byrne: Springfield rocks with Homer's joyous loathing,
Filling clubs with angry Valentinos,
You don't have to move your feet,
Just hate Flanders to the disco beat.
Homer/Byrne: He's your perky, peppy, nightmare neighborino!
If you despise polite left-handers,
Homer/Byrne/Flanders: Then I doubt you'll like Ned Flanders
Or his creepy little offspring, Rod and Todd.
Todd: That's us!
Rod: Hooray!

Audience: F-L-A,
Apu: His name is Ned,
Audience: E-R-S,
Apu: He is so white bread,
Choir: A smiling moustache geek who walks with God!

Bart: Hey, let's see if Dad's song is finally off the air! (turns radio on)
Radio Guy: Coming up next, Springfield's latest one hit wonder "The Moe Szyslak Connection" Produced by David Byrne!
Moe: (on radio) Moe Moe Moe! How do you like me, how do like me? Moe Moe Moe! Why don't you like me? Nobody likes me.
Marge: (Turns off radio) Eh, we can spend another week at the ranch!
Homer: (with the car on its back wheels like a horse)YEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAH!!! HOOHOO! (Car bangs down) Ohhh, that can't be good for the struts!

Simpson Family: (singing) Walking in a Winter Wonderland.
Mr Burns: Exquisite. Just exquisite. Makes me wish I hadn't released the hounds.
(Dogs chase the Simpson Family)
Simpson Family: Aaaahhh!!! (screaming and running away)
Smithers: Should I call them off sir?
Mr. Burns: No, no. It's their Christmas, too.

The episode title Dude, Where's My Ranch? is a spoof on the 2000 comedy movie Dude, Where's My Car? about a man searching for his girl friend's present in his lost car. Read more about the movie in the wikipedia article.