Chalkboard: Sandwiches should not contain sand

Couch: Repeat of the couch gag from "Pray Anything" where a giant toddler plays with doll versions of The Simpsons.

(Bart and Milhouse watch South Park, with its characters drawn in Simpsons style)
Milhouse: I hear those kids' voices are done by grown-ups.
Bart: Hey, there's nothing wrong with that. I just wonder how they keep it so fresh after 43 episodes.
(The boys are at a South Park Forum)
Stan: I can't believe we paid to see a band with Steve Gutenberg, Calista Flockhart, and Farty the Crippled Robot!
(Farty's on stage, playing guitar)
Farty: Look who's in my fart. O.J. (farts and O.J. Simpson appears in the brown cloud)
O.J.: I'm gonna kill you all! (destroys Farty, then goes after the band, cutting their heads off)
Bart/Milhouse: (dancing around) Cartoon Violence! Cartoon Violence! (O.J. has Cartman's dripping head on his knife)
O.J.: Now I'm going to find the real killer!
(Marge comes in and turns off the TV)
Bart/Milhouse: (startled) AAAAAAAA!!!
Marge: Kids, that cartoon is not life-affirming. We're going to watch a show about the everyday problems of angels. (She turns on the TV and changes the channel to PAX TV)
Announcer: Now, back to Good Heavens.
Elderly Woman: Jesus called today.
Elderly Man: He did??
Bart/Milhouse: (running away screaming) AAAAAAAA!!!

Bart: Please don't call our parents.
Chief Wiggum: I'm afraid I have to for hi-jinks like these. (laughs) Hijinks. A funny word. Three dotted letters in a row.
Eddie: Is it hyphenated?
Chief Wiggum: It used to be, back in the back old days, you know. Of course, every generation hyphenates the way it wants to. Then there's N'SYNC…what the hell is that? Jump in anytime Eddie, these are good topics.

Flanders: (singing in Panic Room)
We'll be safe inside our fortress when they come,
We'll be safe from creeps and killers when they come.
Unless they have a blow-torch or a poison-gas-injector,
Then I don't know what'll happen when they come.

Homer: (singing)
I am Homer tribal chief,
I am wearing tiny briefs.
Braves teach values boys should know,
Now extended drum solo.

This episode's title is an adaptation of “The Art of War”, an ancient Chinese military treatise written by Sun Tzu