Lisa: Chief Wiggum we're just like you policemen. Don't you ever feel like the mayor doesn't care about you?
Wiggum: You mean the mayor who kept me waiting for two hours at that restaurant. I ate so much bread! Sit down, boys! We're joining this strike.
Lou: Uh, chief are you sure the mayor wasn't at a different restaurant than you?
Wiggum: Well I can't take that rattlesnake out of his mailbox now, can I?
Eddie: Yes chief, you could.
Wiggum: Well let me ask you this. Shut up
Lisa: I am going to be the best school president ever!
Bart: Bravo Lisa, Bravo.
Marge: Oh, isn't that sweet. Even your brother's adding his kudos!
Bart: I was being sarcastic!
Marge: You were?
Bart: No, I was being sincere!
Homer: Oh, I’m so confused!
Homer: I'm not driving forty-five minutes a day! You can't go to that school!
Lisa: But this is my dream!
Homer: Why can't you have a normal dream, like being an Olympic figure-skater?
Lisa: Okay, let me take figure-skating.
Homer: Are you crazy? I'm not getting up at 6:30 every morning so you can prance around a frozen pond and think you're better than me.
Lisa: Well, what can I be?
Homer: I dunno, how about a horse whisperer?
Homer: Over my dead body!
Homer: Why don't you start a rumor, that he's ding-a-ling-a-ling, hello! Oh oh-oh-oh-oh, what a delicious quiche! I drive a pink Miata! (Homer runs outside and can be seen through the window, dancing and singing "la la la la la".)
Lisa: I can't believe Nelson is more popular than me.
Marge: Honey you could be popular. You've just got to be yourself. In a whole new way!
Lisa: No, I'm gonna stick to my platform of incremental policy enumeration; fluoridated water fountains, vegan lunch options…
Homer: (returning, dressed in a tutu) My name is Nelson, I use a salad fork, la-de-da, I wash my face.
Marge: Where did you get that tutu?
(runs off giggling and throwing flowers in the air)