(inside Lisa's mind)
Jealousy: I can't believe Mom wrote a book before we did!
Honesty: And it's a little trashy.
Conscience: Mom has expressed herself. We should nurture her.
Libido: (locked up in a cage) Let's kiss boys, binge and purge, rock n roll!
Conscience: You're not getting out till we're sixteen.
Homer: How can you write such horrible things about me?
Marge: You told me you liked it! You didn't read it at all! You lied to me!
Homer: I didn't lie. I was writing fiction with my mouth.
Marge: Homie, I finished my novel…
Homer: Wooh, typed.
Marge: It's really important that you read it and tell me what you think.
Homer: No problem. Aww 286 pages!
Marge: It's double spaced.
Homer: Woo hoo! I'm half-way through!
(looking at a billboard for Marge’s' book)
Lisa: If dad ever reads that book he's gonna be so humiliated.
Bart: He'll never read it
Lisa: What if they make it into a movie?
Bart: He'll never see it.
Lisa: What if they parody it on MadTV?
Bart: We're doomed!!