Chalkboard: None

Couch: Every family member is in a clothing bag on a moving dry-cleaning rack, which stops over the couch.

Lisa: So… Maggie's NOT a genius?
Henry: Oh she could be… at sweeping up hair!
Homer: That's my baby, JERK!
(Punches Henry leaving him with a bruise on his nose)
Henry: You call that a punch? I felt it, but it was like "so what"?
(Homer punches Henry again leaving a nosebleed)
Henry: Oh, again with the nose. I have a chin too you know!
(Homer punches Henry making him unconscious.)
Moe: (as the butler) Don't worry sir, the maid and I will take him out to the curb. Come on!
Barney: (as the maid) You promised me no one would get hurt!

Lisa: I can't believe I'm jealous of a baby!
Bart: Hey, so am I! When you're a baby, you can just spend all day rolling around on the floor.(sighs) I miss those days.
Nelson: Then roll, baby!
(Bart rolls on the bus floor)
Nelson: Ha Ha! Floor Baby!
Lisa: You're laughing at him for something you made him do.
Nelson: Well… you're gay!
Lisa: People who call other people gay are often covering up their own latent homosexuality.
(Nelson panics and jumps out the emergency exit. He rolls and then gets back up)
Nelson: BULLIES RULE!

Homer: Look what they sent over. A talking dealy. His name is Phonics Frog.
(Homer presses A, B, and C)
Phonics Frog: Ah-Buh-Cuh…
(Homer types his name)
Phonics Frog: Huh-Oh-Muh-Eh-Ur
Homer: That's me! Huh-Oh-Muh-Eh-Ur.
(Presses more buttons)
Phonics Frog: This-Is-Huh-Oh-Muh-Eh-Ur-Dok-tor-Hee-kan-ot-cum-too-urk-too-day.(a.k.a., This is Homer's doctor he cannot come to work today.)
(Homer laughs)
Homer: Uh… I'll be right back. (runs to the phone)

Boy: The pig says Oink! The chicken says..
Henry: Stop! I could go to any Chuck E' Cheese in America if I want to hear what animals say. You know what I say? I say next!
(Mother picks up boy and walks away)
Boy: You're a poopie!
Henry: Do you nurse with that mouth?

This episode's title is a reference to “Dumb and Dumber”, a 1994 comedy film starring Jim Carrey (1962-) and Jeff Daniels (1955-).