Chalkboard: None

Couch: Repeat of the couch gag from "The President Wore Pearls" where The Simpsons develop from a blank Polaroid photo.

(Homer has a fantasy of Bart being led into a spaceship at gun point by aliens.)
Alien: You shall marry my daughter, moon-Hilda!
Hilda: I can't wait to lay ma eggs in his brain.
(Back to reality)
Homer: No son of mine is going to march down the aisle at the barrel of a ray gun!

Warden: The part of the brain that remembers dance steps is also the anger center. So, juveniles who know how to fox trot are 10% less likely to commit a double homicide.
Prisoner: Who conducted this study?
Warden: The Institute of Shut Your Fat Face!

Warden: You got the guard job!
(He holds out a nightstick)
Warden: This end's for whacking, this one's for holding.
Homer: When does training start?
Warden: It just ended.