Couch: Instead of the living room, the Simpsons (dressed in togas) are in the ancient city of Pompeii and race to sit on a bench. Suddenly, a volcano (Mt. Vesuvius) in the distance erupts and covers the family in ash.
Homer: Sweetie, will you please look at daddy!
Lisa: You stopped being my daddy when you bet against me! All I have now is a mom. That's why I'm taking her maiden name. So from now on, my name is Lisa Bouvier!
Nelson: Hey, Mr. S. Lisa B.
Girl: Would you like to buy some band candy?
Superintendent Chalmers: I'm a bit of a crossword head myself. They help me relax after a day of having to deal with... Skinner!
Principal Skinner: You called?
Superintendent Chalmers: Made reference.
Principal Skinner: My mistake.
Lisa: Dad, I know this is crazy, but did you plant a message to me in the New York Times crossword puzzle?
Homer: Well, I had a little help from this guy.
(Will Shortz and Merl Reagle appear)
Lisa: (gasps) New York Times crossword editor Will Shortz and master puzzle constructor Merl Reagle!
Merl Reagle: I actually wrote that crossword.
Will Shortz: And I edited it. Now get back to crosswording!
Merl Reagle: (dejected) Yes, sir.