Couch: Similar to the couch gag in the season 9 episode, "Trash of the Titans," The Simpsons run in and find Bart writing on the blackboard as punishment. Unlike the couch gag on "Trash of the Titans," the Simpsons are in their own living room, the blackboard is on wheels instead of on the wall, and Bart is writing "I will not bring the chalkboard home" instead of "I will not mess with the opening credits".

Homer: Praise to Oliver.
Mina: That's "Allah."
Homer: Ah, we'll look it up in the Corona.

Marge: Okay, remember our deal: Everyone gets to return one Christmas present with no hurt feelings. (holds up calendar with "From Bart" sticker) I'm returning this kitten calendar.
Lisa: (holds up identical calendar) Um, I'm also returning this kitten calendar.
Homer: Kitten calendar.
(Maggie holds up kitten calendar)
Bart: Hey, those are 15-month calendars! That gives you three extra kittens.
(The family stares at him blankly. He takes back the calendars)
Bart: That's the last time I get you guys a Christmas present at the last minute. (looks at back of calendar) Man, those are ugly kittens.

Marge: You're teaching Bart a terrible lesson of intolerance!
Homer: I'm sorry. It's just so fun and easy to judge people based on religion.

This episode's title is an adaptation of 'Bedknobs and Broomsticks', the 1971 Disney live action/animated musical starring Angela Lansbury & David Tomlinson