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The Tick (1994)
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| Title: | The Tick vs. The Idea Men |
| Episode Number: | 1 |
| Season: | 1 |
| Season Episode #.: | 1 |
| Production Number: | 101 |
| Original Airdate: | Saturday September 10th, 1994 |
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There's a new superhero in The City: The Tick. He meets Arthur, an accountant who dreams of fighting crime in his moth costume. Together they take on some bank robbers wearing full face masks who call themselves The Idea Men. Their "big idea" is to rob banks so they don't have to work for a living.
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| | Guest Stars | | •Charlie Adler | voiced | Captain Lemming | Recurring (first appearance) | | •Ed Gilbert (1) | voiced | The Idea Men, Bipolar Bear | Recurring (first appearance) | | •Jess Harnell | voiced | The Human Bullet | Recurring (first appearance) | | •Kevin Schon | voiced | Big Shot | Recurring (first appearance) | | •Pat Fraley | voiced | Mayor Blank | Recurring (first appearance) | | •Pat Musick | voiced | Sally Vacuum | Recurring (first appearance) | | •Rob Paulsen | voiced | The Caped Chameleon | Recurring (first appearance) |
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| First appearance of The Idea Men.
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| The Tick: (dramatically) Listen, ours is an epic tale: true friendship, heart-stopping danger, men and women in tights, making the rules and breaking 'em! We are not two men... we are ten men!!!
| The Tick: (grabbing the microphone) Hellooo Reno, I am The Tick!
(He pushes a button on his contraption, which opens up, revealing several dangerous weapons)
The Tick: I am mighty! Now you may ask, "How does one prove one's mightiness?" To this I reply, "By surviving the deadliest engine of destruction 1974 had to offer!"
(He puts down the microphone and begins to climb into the seat in the middle of all of the dangerous weapons)
The Tick: Ladies and gentlemen, you may want to shield yourselves with your dessert menus. I might be dangerous!
(He pulls a lever to start the machine. I begins to whir and spring into action... only to stop and then a tiny hammer swings down to tap him on the forehead)
The Tick: (rubbing his forehead) Well, this is disappointing.
(A bomb positioned above him in the machine drops on his head, exploding and nearly leveling the building)
The Tick: (sitting in the midst of the rubble) Whoa.
| The Tick: (dramatically narrating in the dark as he rides a greyhound bus bound for The City) Destiny's powerful hand has made the bed of my future and it's up to me to lie in it. I am destined to be a superhero, to right wrongs and to pound two-fisted justice into the hearts of evildoers everywhere. You don't fight destiny. No sir! And you don't eat crackers in the bed of your future or you get all... scratchy.
(The other passengers wake with grumbling groans)
The Tick: Hey, I'm narrating here! (clearing his throat) They've assigned me a city. My mission: to free it from the ravages of evil and super-villainy, so its citizens may sleep easy, secure in the knowledge that they are protected. (reading his superhero assignment card) "The City", my The City. It cries to me of its need.
| Mr. Wiederspann: (clearing his throat) Arthur.
Arthur: (wearing his superhero costume) Yes, Mr. Wiederspann.
Mr. Wiederspann: Uh Arthur, I'm afraid the firm feels that it's time to allow you the opportunity to pursue other avenues of employment.
Arthur: I'm fired? Is there a problem with my work?
Mr. Wiederspann: (pleasant) Oh no, Arthur, no. It's, it's, it's... (annoyed) It's that stupid bunny outfit!
Arthur: Oh no, not "bunny" sir: moth. It's my moth suit. Actually, it's a flying suit. The wings are in my briefcase.
Mr. Wiederspann (pleasant) Arthur, you're making the other accountants nervous. We all find this kind of rampant individuality very disturbing.
Arthur: I know you think I'm crazy, Mr. Wiederspann, but I'm not. It's just... ever since I found this suit, I've felt strange new... needs... urges. I can't live this life a moment longer! Somewhere out there a destiny of adventure and excitement waits for me! Accounting is a fine skill to fall back on, but the road less traveled... much less traveled. The moth suit and wings road is a lot more exciting than taxes!
| The Tick: City, it is I: the Tick, your destined defender! Show me where it hurts.
(He looks up at a skyscraper)
The Tick: (impressed) Tall.
| (After a ride up an elevator to the roof of the skyscraper)
The Tick: Oh, there's crime here. I smell it. I can taste it! And so shall I begin my first patrol of The City with one giant leap!
(He leaps off the skyscraper, crashing unto the roof of a shorter skyscraper and leaving the impression of his legs in the roof. He then begins leaping from building to building, causing small amounts of damage to each)
The Tick: Soon, they will know me. Soon, they will need me.
| (The Tick flips over the edge of a building and begins plummeting towards the ground)
The Tick: Ah ha! I'll bounce off the flagpole and flip to safety!
(The flagpole breaks off at he meets it, so he continues hurtling downward)
The Tick: (seeing the pavement below) Ah Ha! I'll bounce off that broad, flat surface!
(Meanwhile, Arthur is walking along below, talking to himself)
Arthur: ...if I don't eat out, and reverse my underwear to get an extra day.
The Tick: ...or, maybe not.
(He crashes into the ground, burying himself up to chest in the pavement... right in front of Arthur)
The Tick: (in pain) Aaarrrggghhh!!! ...Gravity is a harsh mistress.
Arthur: (shocked) Are you alright?
The Tick: I'm fine. I'm a superhero. I'm nigh invulnerable. I'm built for this kind of thing... nice outfit.
Arthur: A superhero?
The Tick: Known to evildoers everywhere as The Tick!
Arthur: I'm Arthur: known to taxpayers everywhere as the accountant. I'm looking for adventure.
The Tick: Come have lunch with me, Arthur. Adventure will follow!
| (At a diner)
The Tick: Why would they send a superhero of my caliber to a place like this? I'm not sure this city even needs a champion!
Diner patron: So, you're a superhero, huh? And what sort of costume is that supposed to be?
The Tick: Costume? No costume, friend. I am simply: The Tick.
Diner patron: Well, you can't be "The Tick". Ticks are arachnids. They've got eight legs.
The Tick: (dumbfounded) How do you know I don't?
Diner patron: Ticks suck blood. (aggressively) Do you suck blood?
The Tick: Uh... yeah, I suck blood all the time.
Diner patron: (scoffing) Yeah right.
The Tick: (grabbing a straw) Look! I got a straw right here, pal, you want a demonstration?
(He begins sucking through the straw forcefully)
Diner patron: (apologetically) No, no. No, no, thanks, no!
| (An explosion rocks the diner)
The Caped Wonder: An explosion! I have only seconds to shed my everyday disguise!
(He runs towards the diner's bathroom and grabs the handle)
The Caped Wonder: This looks like a job for...
(He tries to open the door, only to find it locked)
Woman's voice: (from inside the bathroom) There's somebody in here!
The Caped Wonder: ...Occupied.
| (The Tick is facing The Idea Men in the Savings and Loan)
The Tick: Criminals, you face the sworn protector of this fair city! You face: The Tick!
(The Idea Men all point their Tommy guns at him and shout unintelligibly at him)
The Tick: Speak up! I can't understand a word you're saying through those stupid masks!
(They continue to shout but still nothing can be understood)
The Tick: Enunciate!
| (Arthur wakes up from passing out)
Arthur: Are we dead yet?
The Tick: Far from it, Arthur. We have them on the run!
(The Tick and Arthur run out through the gaping hole in the front of the S&L just in time to see The Idea Men grab ropes which dangle from a hovering blimp)
The Tick: Hey, cool! They got a blimp!
| Arthur: Oh, I don't know. I just don't know if I'm ready for this. Too much excitement. Too much adventure. I think I'm going crazy.
The Tick: (dramatically) You're not going crazy, Arthur, you're going sane in a crazy world! Some people are destined for greater things! Arthur, you are one of those people. You can't hide from it. You've got to hug it. Hug your destiny, Arthur! (softly) Hug it.
| (The Tick bursts into Arthur's bedroom)
The Tick: Arthur! Get up! The City calls upon her steadfast protectors!
Arthur: What?!
(Switch to another apartment)
Bipolar Bear: (enthusiastically) This looks like a job for Bipolar Bear! (depressed) ...But I just can't get out of bed this month.
(Switch to the roof of a tall building)
Captain Lemming: This looks like a job for...
(He leaps over the side of the building)
Captain Lemming: (falling( Captain Lemmmmming!
(He lands with a loud thud)
Captain Lemming: (amid spine cracking sounds) Come on, spine. Work with me.
(Switch to a street corner where the unidentified superhero from the diner approaches a phone booth just as an elderly woman enters)
The Caped Wonder: Excuse me, miss. I've got to change my outfit.
(The little old lady slams the door in his face)
(Switch to an open field with a man running towards a large cannon with a boy running after him)
Human Bullet: This looks like a job for the Human Bullet! Fire me, boy!
| (Arthur stands on the top of a large building with his wings on)
Arthur: No, no, no, no, no! Changed my mind. Wanna come down.
The Tick: It's your destiny, Arthur. Hug it!
(He pushed Arthur over the edge of the building)
Arthur: Aarrgghh!
(He flaps furiously and begins to rise but then sinks lower and eventually begins to fly awkwardly)
Arthur: I'm very frightened!
The Tick: No Arthur, you're very flying!
| Die Fledermaus: Well, if it isn't American Maid, the world's most patriotic domestic. This looks like a job for Die Fledermaus, not some mop squeezer. Why don't you go scrub out a toilet somewhere?
American Maid: Why don't you go smell up a cave?
The Tick: People. People! There's a dam about to blow up! We should team up and use all our resources to battle this evil.
American Maid and Die Fledermaus: (in unison) Team up?
Die Fledermaus: I'm not going to team up with her!
American Maid: There's that fear of commitment again.
Die Fledermaus: Ooh, listen to Miss Intimacy here.
American Maid: Jerk!
Die Fledermaus: Jingoist!
American Maid: Rabid goon!
Die Fledermaus: Clean freak!
(They continue to bicker in the background)
The Tick: (to Arthur) Some people shouldn't be in this business.
| Arthur: (about The Idea Men) Hey! They got their money and they're still going to blow up the dam!
The Tick: Aw, no fair!!!
| The Tick: Okay, Idea Man, what's the big idea?
Idea Man: Well, we thought we'd steal a lot of money, and then we'd be rich, and we wouldn't have to work anymore!
The Tick: You cads!
| (Big Shot bursts into the dam building with guns blazing)
The Tick: (to Arthur)Guns and superheroes don't mix.
(Big Shot runs out of ammo and is more than a little off balance, mentally)
The Tick: (to Big Shot) Seek professional help.
(The beeping on the bomb stuck on The Tick's hand continues)
The Tick: My goodness, I'm a walking time bomb!
(He runs off)
Big Shot: (sobbing) Why didn't you love me, mom?
(He hugs Arthur and continues weeping hysterically)
| (The Tick runs onto the top of the dam and the bomb goes off without damaging the dam. Arthur comes swooping in on his wings)
Arthur: I guess we saved The City.
The Tick: (dramatically) For the moment, yes, my friend. But with luck, our future holds still more dire threats! More perilous plots! Wherever villainy rears its great big head, wherever evil sets its giant smelly foot, you will find: The Tick!
(He grabs Arthur by the shoulders)
Arthur: Oh, and Arthur his uh... sidekick!
The Tick: Good show! And yes, my sidekick Arthur. Certainly a force to be reckoned with. And so, may evil beware. And may good dress warmly and eat plenty of fresh vegetables.
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| The character Big Shot is a parody of Marvel Comics' The Punisher. Both have a maniacal love of firearms and both use a skull as their identifying symbol.
| The name of the Savings and Loan, Rive Droite is French for "right bank". La Rive Droite is the right or north bank of the River Seine in central Paris, France. The right bank section of Paris is thought to be more culturally sophisticated than the left bank section.
| The three judges at the National Super Institute in Reno are a parody of the three male members of the Marvel Comics' superhero team, The Fantastic Four. The judge on the left has the ability to stretch his neck to incredible lengths, just as Reed Richards aka Mr. Fantastic does. The judge in the middle has a body or at least a torso that is seemingly made from orange rock, as does Ben Grimm aka The Thing. The judge on the right appears to have some fire-related superpower and so does Johnny Storm aka The Human Torch.
| The character Die Fledermaus is a parody of DC Comics' Batman. His costume is similar to Batman's but with emphasized bat features and he uses ropes and gadgets to get around as Batman does.
| The character American Maid is a parody of DC Comics' Wonder Woman. She has both a patriotic outfit and dark hair like Wonder Woman.
| In the diner, The Tick is spouting off about how The City is not worthy of a superhero of his caliber. There is an unidentified superhero in a business suit disguise sitting next to Arthur who is obviously a parody of DC Comics' Clark Kent aka Superman. He has a quite broad chest and shoulders, wears glasses and has a distinctive curlicue in his hair. The character, who is known as The Caped Wonder in The Tick comics, says that he has "only seconds to shed his everyday disguise" and later he tries to enter a phonebooth to change clothes, as Superman was known to do.
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