Dean: Daddy? You're the...
Dr. Venture: Dean, we need to talk.
Dean: There is no Hair Fairy, is there?
Dr. Venture: Not even close.

(demonstrating explosive Dr. Venture statue)
Sgt. Hatred: It's a fresh new twist on a classic decoy tactic. We place 'em in key locations around the compound, and the next time your Monarch or your Baron Whats-His-Bheit comes a-knockin', he gets spanked in the face with five feet seven inches of screamin' hot stop it!
Dr. Venture: I'm five ten.
Sgt. Hatred: Yeah, maybe with them fancy elevator Beatles boots of yours.

Sgt. Hatred: I don't wanna tell ya how to do your daddy duty or nothing, but don'tcha think maybe you're being just a little hard on the old Hankinator?
Dr. Venture: "Hankinator"? You're sleeping with him, aren't you?

Dermott: Now c'mon, let's take this thing to the quarry for some off-road action.
Hank: Umm, I don't think I shoiuild take it off the compound.
Dermott: Yeah, well you didn't think I should hot wire it, either.
Hank: 'Cause I had the keys!

Dermott: You think being grounded is bad? Try prison. That's like being grounded for life. Plus, instead of chores... butt sex.

Dermott: Why do you think they used to call me "the Wolf"?
Hank: Nobody calls you that.
Dermott: Well, they did back in my old neighborhood. When they weren't calling me "psycho." There was actually a war between two gangs over which nickname to call me. Both gangs won.

Dermott: All right, we're going to have to do this commando-style.
Hank: You want me to... take off my underwear?