Dean: What's a guidance counselor?
Billy Quizboy: Usually it's a guy you barely know who gives you career advice, even though his career is a guidance counselor, and sometimes he helps get you into college.

Billy Quizboy: So, uh, what did you put down?
Hank: Ahem! Number one--"drifter."
Billy Quizboy: All right, okay, that's not really a career, Hank. It's like the opposite of a career.
Hank: Ah, but you don't need to go to college to be one, right? Plus, you get paid to just walk around all day reading sexy letters, like the guy in Red Shoe Diaries.
Billy Quizboy: He wasn't a drifter. The guy's getting all his mail. That implies a fixed address.
Hank: Okay, fine. Then, like, David "The Hulk" Banner.
Billy Quizboy: Well, David Banner's real name is actually Dr. David Bruce Banner. So he's a scientist.
Hank: Oh, then I don't want to be that.

Hank: I want to join up with you guys.
Hunter Gathers: Well, my boot wants to join up with your ass, and I'm about to throw 'em a shotgun wedding!

Dean Harris: So, uh, where'd you go to high school, young Dean?
Dean: Oh, I was...
Rusty: The boy was homeschooled.
Dean: I have an electronic grandpa bed that talks to me while I sleep.

Hank: Yeah. I feel like that Jewish guy who lost all his powers when they cut his hair off.
Brock: Uh, Samson?
Hank: Lenny Kravitz. It's not all about you, you know?
Brock: Yeah.