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Season 1 |
| 1 :01x01 - Pilot (Sep/11/2005) | | When Dave doesn't let Hilary date an older guy, she bends the rules by bringing over a new "Study Partner". Meanwhile Mike coincidentally begins spending more time at his friend Seth's house around the same time Seth's mom gets breast implants. Meanwhile Larry dresses up like a girl in order to prove a theory, which only furthers his parents suspicions of him being gay. | | Guest Stars: Tom McGowan as Joe, Richard Whiten as Omar, | Co-Guest Stars: Dreux Frederic as Taye, Shirley Prestia as Vicky's Mom, Jim Jackman (1) as Paramedic, Rami Malek as Kenny | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Rob Lotterstein | | | |
| 2 :01x02 - I.M. What I.M. (Sep/18/2005) | | When Vicky discovers Dave has been Instant Messaging someone of the screen name "Lonely Lady Michigan", she accuses him of cheating on her. Two can play this game. Dave throws the punch back, accusing Vicky of having been e-mailing an old boyfriend. Meanwhile, Hilary is having dating problems of her own. She had planned to give up her virginity to her latest boyfriend Taye, but it turns out Taye is in a program in which he vowed not to have sex until marriage. Hilary confides in Vicky, who doesn't exactly keep things under rap. When Dave finds out he completely messes up the story, and takes things the other way around. | | Guest Stars: Ray Laska as Fox Executive, Dreux Frederic as Taye, Marissa Blanchard (1) as Young Hillary | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Rob Lotterstein | | | |
| 3 :01x03 - High Crimes (Sep/25/2005) | | Hillary has been being nice to Dave...too nice. He is certain that she is having sex with someone. Mike tells Dave that he is wrong, and Hillary has not been having sex. When Dave see's his pot stash is gone, he now believe's Hillary has taken it and is smoking it. He confronts Hillary about it, accidentally letting her know the stash was his. He covers it up by saying that it is Grandma Betty's, and she uses it for medical reasons. Mike hears this, and believes it, so he buys some pot at the playground, and gives it to his Grandma telling her it is from Dave. Vicky finds the pot, and begins using it to sooth her problems. Meanwhile Grandma Betty has been acting slightly different...I wonder why. | | Guest Stars: Anita Gillette as Betty, Cynthia Frost as Etta | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Rob Lotterstein | | | |
| 4 :01x04 - Guess Who's Coming to the Barbecue (Oct/02/2005) | | When Vicky invites Taye's parents over for a Barbecue, Dave isn't exactly happy. Dave and Taye's father, Omar, aren't really the best of friends. At the Barbecue, Omar takes some of Dave's comments as racist, and Vicky insists that he apologize. When Dave goes to apologize, he ends up having a great time at Omar's country club. He and Omar are buds now. Much to Dave's distress, when he gets home Taye and Hillary are close to a break up. | | Guest Stars: Salli Richardson as Vanessa, Richard Whiten as Omar, Dreux Frederic as Taye | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Stephen Engel | | | |
| 5 :01x05 - Like a Virgin (Nov/06/2005) | | Hillary confides in Vicky with questions about sex. Vicky stupidly allows Dave into annoying her into telling him about it. Dave begins acting strange, trying to keep Hillary and her boyfriend away from being alone together. Hillary quickly catches on, and becomes angered with Vicky, who in domino affect becomes mad at Dave. Meanwhile, Larry has a new girlfriend, making Kenny feel left out. | | Guest Stars: Chuck Carter as Theater Candy Vendor, Michael Mitchell (1) as Kyle, Lindsay Faye Wagner as Marla, Zoe Di Stefano as Brenda | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Bill Kunstler (1) | | | |
| 6 :01x06 - The Bigger They Come (Nov/13/2005) | | Hillary is upset because she believes her breasts are to small, and the girls with big breasts get all the attention. Hillary begs her parents to allow her to get the implants, and even brings over a friend with breast implants to sway them. Of course their answer stays the same. Hillary is able to convince Dave they are for the better, who tells Vicky, who tells him that he has been played. Dave and Vicky come up with a plan that will improve give Hillary A grades, and keep her A cups. Meanwhile Dave gets excited when Larry finally gets a girlfriend, but is frustrated to learn she's not exactly the pettiest girl on campus. | | Guest Stars: Lisa Carnahan as Flat-chested Woman, Anita Gillette as Grandma Betty, Lindsay Faye Wagner as Marla, Alessandra Toreson as Alison | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Matthew Salsberg | | | |
| 7 :01x07 - Cheers (Nov/20/2005) | | When Dave and Vicky catch Hillary and her friend Brenda drunk in their kitchen in the middle of the night, Vicky decides to eliminate alcohol in the household so as not be a negative influence on the kids. However, Prohibition lasts only two days before Vicky and Dave succumb to free pitchers of margaritas with some friends and come home a little more giggly than usual. Needless to say, their buzz is killed when they face an embarrassed Hillary and Brenda's strict and judgmental parents at their doorstep. Meanwhile, Mike becomes a vegetarian after accidentally shooting a pigeon. | | Guest Stars: Lindsay Faye Wagner as Marla, Zoe Di Stefano as Brenda, Lindsay Wagner as Marla, Amy Farrington as Arlene, Steve Ireland as Gordon | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Rob Lotterstein | | | |
| 8 :01x08 - The Empire Spanks Back (Nov/27/2005) | | Dave fears that the kids are getting away with far too much, and when talking to them doesn't work, he institutes a zero-tolerance, pro-spanking policy. Of course, they think he's all talk and naively call his bluff. When a humiliated Larry, the first recipient of one of Dave's spankings, moves in with Kenny, Child Protective Services is called, and it's Dave who's in for a real "spanking". | | Guest Stars: Carla Renata as Eartha Marshall, Tom McGowan as Joe, Anoush NeVart as Kenny's Mom, Ryan Devlin as Keith | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Stephen Engel | | | |
| 9 :01x09 - Dave Get Your Gun (Dec/11/2005) | | When Larry gets the leading role in the high school production of "Annie Get Your Gun", Dave begins to worry about his sons masculinity. Seeing him kiss what appears to be another guy, who is actually his girlfriend with her hood up, they are sure he is gay. However, when they publically adress this, Larry's relationship is ruined. Meanwhile, Taye breaks up with Hilary after she punches another girl at school. | | Guest Stars: Tom McGowan as Joe, Dreux Frederic as Taye, Diana C. Zollicoffer as Keisha, Kerry Hammond as Bonnie, Joe Clair as Officer #1, Christopher Ryan Johnson (4) as Bully #1, Adam Cagley as Bully #2, Zachary San George as Young Larry | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Jennifer Glickman | | | |
| 10 :01x10 - Breaking Up Is Hard To Do (Dec/18/2005) | | When Grandma Betty brings her boyfriend over for dinner, Dave finds out she's been spending a lot of dough on him, and things get out of hand. In fear she will spend his inheritance on this "gigolo", Dave begins spinning false accusations. Meanwhile, Vicky and Dave try show Hilary how hard it is to raise a baby hoping she will break it off with Keith; and Larry begins to show an interest in Dave's baseball collection, which Dave is proud of at first, until he finds out Larry is only selling the cards on EBay for money. | | Guest Stars: Anita Gillette as Grandma Betty, Lyle Waggoner as Jack, Ryan Devlin as Keith | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Jennifer Glickman | | | |
| 11 :01x11 - It's a Living (1) (Jan/08/2006) | | Mike scores extremely well on a test, and he is offered to move up into the honors classes. This encourages Vicky to return to her fashion-executive job, which means a bigger salary, but less time at home with the family. This time apart means more chores for Dave, which he does not like. Meanwhile, Larry submits a poem which was actually written by Kenny, and takes a little to much credit for it. | | Guest Stars: Tom McGowan as Joe | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Darin Henry | | | | | | |
| 13 :01x13 - Three's Company (Feb/26/2006) | | Vicky is excited to hear that her old college drinking buddy, Jodi, is coming to visit her. However, when she arrives, Vicky is disappointed that Jodi is now sober and is trying to make amend for past mistakes. Dave is terrified that Jodi will confess to Vicky that she and Dave slept together in college, and tries to avoid conversation at all cost. Meanwhile, Hilary is having trouble in school, and the boys keep a close eye on a woman who undresses in front of the window. | | Guest Stars: Jamie Luner as Jodi, Tom McGowan as Joe, Joel Brooks (1) as Joel | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Darin Henry | | | |
| 14 :01x14 - How Do You Spell Relief? (Feb/28/2006) | | After Dave finds a pregnancy test in the trash he assumes Hillary is pregnant. But it turns out that a depressed, out of work Vicky has not been taking the pill. So Dave tries to help her out with various job opportunities but gets no results. Meanwhile, lazy Mike buys Hillary's old book reports from when she used to get good grades, and Larry somehow gets himself into a Spelling Bee Competeition. | | Guest Stars: Tom McGowan as Joe, Nikki Soohoo as Sue Ling, Nate Reese as Moderator, Lorna Scott as Mrs. Scheffler, Zachary San George as Young Larry | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Rob Lotterstein | | Songs: Jackson 5 -- ABC | | | |
| 15 :01x15 - Looney Tunes (Mar/12/2006) | | After finding a crumbled-up note with despondent scribbling on it in Mike’s room, Dave and Vicky are convinced that Mike is unhappy and try to pamper him out of his depressed state. Mike plays along with their suspicion and milks it for all its worth, but the truth comes out when he’s forced to see a therapist, who sees right through his lies. Meanwhile, Larry is upset that Mike is getting all the attention when he is the son who actually needs help, and Hillary takes a sexual experience survey for class. Which makes Dave crazy to know her answers. | | Guest Stars: Kathleen Noone as Aunt Shelly, Jesse Fremont Allis as Mark Silverberg, Joel Brooks (1) as Dr. Mark Leiber | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: David Holden (1) | | | |
| 16 :01x16 - Oh Grow Up (Mar/19/2006) | | Dave is having trouble dealing with the menstrual cycles of the girls in house, which are both in full swing at the same time, mood swings and all. While unwillingly waiting for Hilary to come out of the gynecologist's office, Dave discovers that her gynecologist is an old friend of his from high school, who used to get around a lot back then. This makes Dave worry that Dr. Vogel plans to make his relationship with Hilary a little more personal. Meanwhile, Larry's feelings are hurt when he overhears Mike call him a nobody. | | Guest Stars: Dylan Neal as Dr. Jonathan Vogel, Denzel Whitaker as Jeff | | Director: Andy Cadiff | | | |
| 17 :01x17 - The Seventeen-Year Itch (Mar/26/2006) | | Dave's ego grows bigger than ever before when an attractive young lady hits on him around the office, and he begins to think that any younger lady would be happy to date him. However, his ego is easily destroyed when the young lady tries to hook him up with her mother. Meanwhile, Vicky is a hit with the student...and their fathers when she visits Mike's school for career day; and Hilary finds a sensitive potential boyfriend in Kenny. | | Guest Stars: Tom McGowan as Joe, Meghan Markle as Susan, Denzel Whitaker as Jeff, Lisa Thornhill as Rebecca, Mark Durbin as Handsome Dad | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Michael Davidoff | | | |
| 18 :01x18 - 13 Going On $30,000 (Apr/09/2006) | | Dave and Vicky think Mike is only in it for the money and gifts when he asks for a bar mitzah. And at first, that was his plan, but after studying Hebrew and the Jewish history, Mike discovers a real interest in the matter. Dave and Vicky are now obligated to support his request now, but are not so into the idea after they see the cost. Meanwhile, Hillary also takes up an interest in Judaism after meeting Mike's hot tutor; and Larry builds up the confidence to ask out an attractive girl at school. | | Guest Stars: Steve Atinsky as Accountant, Jim Doughan as Father Conlon, Chelsea Brummet as Amber, Michael Hamilton as Eli, Victor Raider-Wexler as Rabbi Safra | Director: Andy Cadiff
Story: Phil Oster, Rob Lotterstein | | | |
| 19 :01x19 - Snow Job (Apr/16/2006) | | Hilary sprains her ankle on a ski trip that she was at without Dave's approval, and ends up in the emergency room. This makes Dave furious, and even more when he finds out Vicky gave her the approval without consulting him. However, at the hospital the truth comes out, and it turns out they were both tricked by Hilary, and war breaks out. Meanwhile, Larry waits for a call from a girl he met, and Mike tries to get in on the deal. | | Special Guest Stars: Jere Burns (1) as Howard, | Guest Stars: Sarah Godshaw (1) as Chloe, Stephanie Hodge as Rachel, Zoe Di Stefano as Brenda, Heather MacDowell as Ashley | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Bill Kunstler (1) | | | |
| 20 :01x20 - The West Palm Beach Story (Apr/16/2006) | | Dave plans a family trip to Florida to visit his parents in excitement that it won't cost him a penny. But, his lovely family get away backfires when Mike refuses to fly, Hilary wants to stay in town so a boy she met won't forget her, and Vicky hates Dave's parents. Larry on the other hand is looking forward to sporting his new speedo that he can now comfortably wear because he's been on a weight-loss program. Things get worse when their airport ride cancels, Hilary's new nipple ring is discovered in the metal detector, and Dave is stripped search by airport security. They eventually make it to Dave's parents condo, where Dave is insulted by his father over and over again, making him realize how he treats Larry. | | Guest Stars: Robert M. Koch (2) as Security Person, Iqbal Theba as Middle Eastern Man, Yvette Nicole Brown as Screener, Jerry Adler (1) as Jerry, Brenda Vaccaro as Barbara | Director: Andy Cadiff
Story: Matthew Salsberg | | | |
| 21 :01x21 - The Runaways (Apr/23/2006) | | Larry actually runs away after Vicky refuses to buy him tickets for the Ice Capades. Vicky thinks that this is just more drama from Larry, and that he just went over Kenny's house like every other time. However, when she discovers he actually ran away, she is disappointed in herself as a mother. Meanwhile, Dave tries to be the "cool" parent by supporting Hilary with a fight she is having with one of her friends, but it backfires. After all this, Dave and Vicky decide to ditch the kids for a night alone. | | Guest Stars: Courtney Jines as Heidi | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Rob Lotterstein | | | |
| 22 :01x22 - Drive Me Crazy (Apr/30/2006) | | Hilary gets pulled over for reckless driving while out taking driving lessons from Dave, who takes the blame hoping Hilary will love him forever for it. However, Hilary isn't as appreciative as Dave had hoped, and the driving incident turns into a DUI arrest, leading to court. Meanwhile, Larry is heart broken after he learns Vicky forgot to sign him up for Shakespeare camp, and Dave and Mike become addicted to online poker. | | Guest Stars: Chasity Leigh (1) as Six-Year-Old Hillary, Mary Castro as Stripper, Christopher Michael as Police Officer, Jack Shearer as Judge, Darryl Theirse as Camp Director, Joel Brooks (1) as Joel | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Stephen Engel | | | |
Season 2 |
| 23 :02x01 - Back to School (Sep/10/2006) | | When the first day of school arrives, Dave and Vicky couldn't be happier, but the first week will be more eventful than they predicted. Dave meddles in Mike's love life in order to stay friends with his current girlfriend's father, Hillary refuses to take her last year of high school seriously, and Larry...erm...Gideon completely overhauls his style. | | Guest Stars: Jesse Ashton Richardson as Young Dave, Courtney Jines as Heidi, Keone Young as Mr Park, Zoe Di Stefano as Brenda, Todd Stashwick as Jeff, Jerry Mathers as Principal, Dan Sachoff as Lawyer | Director: Andy Cadiff
Story: Rob Lotterstein, Rob LaZebnik | | | |
| 24 :02x02 - Dream Crusher (Sep/17/2006) | | Dave is extremely proud of Larry after finding out he is running for President at school. That is, until he finds out it's for president of the Chess Club. Dave then goes all out to prevent Larry from winning the election. Meanwhile, Hillary thinks she's going to be the next pop star, and Dave and Vicky find an empty condom wrapper in Mike's pants. | | Guest Stars: Chris Bonno as Former Chess Club President | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Stephen Engel | | | |
| 25 :02x03 - Super Dave (Sep/24/2006) | | When Kenny's dad bails, Larry turns to Dave to take them to the Comic Book Convention. At first Dave refuses, but after he overhears Larry call him a hero, he decides to take them. Once there, Dave pretends to like all of the things Larry likes to uphold his title. However, he screws things up after he makes Larry miss the autograph signing of his favorite comic hero. Meanwhile, Vicky gets Mike hooked on coffee and accidentally tells Hillary she can go on to a sleepover with a boy. | | Guest Stars: Brett Gilbert as Conventioneer #3., Aaron Ikeda as Conventioneer #2, Sean Conroy as Conventioneer #1, Larry Romano as Maintenance Guy, Oliver Muirhead as Zoltar | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Steve Skrovan | | | |
| 26 :02x04 - Car Wars (Oct/01/2006) | | Hillary signs a contract made up by Dave and Vicky, which basically states that she can get her own car but must do all the things they ask her to do with it. At first Hillary is excited about getting a new car, but the contracts restrictions soon become overbearing. Meanwhile, Larry begins dates Mike's ex-girlfriend, Heidi, causing a feud between the two. All their fighting makes Dave question whether or not he has become like his own father. | | Guest Stars: Joel Brooks (1) as Joel, Courtney Jines as Heidi, Tom McGowan as Joe, Anita Gillette as Betty | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Bill Kunstler (1) | | | |
| 27 :02x05 - I Wash My Hands of You (Nov/05/2006) | | After Dave and Vicky catch Hillary in a plan to trick them into not finding out she went out on a date with a much older guy, Dave "washes his hands of her". At first, she is enthusiastic about her new found freedom, but the thought of her parents not caring about her soon gets to her head. Meanwhile, Dave makes Vicky give up smoking after he catches her in the garage, and Larry accidentally gets addicted to her nicotine gum. | | Special Guest Stars: Seth MacFarlane as Hillary's Older Date, | Guest Stars: Derek Mio as Henry Pham, Jaclyn Guitterez as Java Bean Girl, Zoe Di Stefano as Brenda | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Claudia Lonow | | | | | | |
| 29 :02x07 - Love This (Nov/19/2006) | | Dave is disgusted that he is turned on by girl's Hillary's age when he thinks he sees her in a "Girls Gone Wild" tape. He rids himself of all his porn and turns to Vicky to satisfy all his needs, who begins to tire out. Meanwhile, Larry decides to replace all the swear words he says with the word "love", and Hillary keeps Mike off drugs by telling him her PMS medication are actually mood enhancers. | | Guest Stars: Jeff Witzke as Paramedic, Rick Garcia as Newscaster, Joel Brooks (1) as Gangster, Courtney Jines as Heidi, Zoe Di Stefano as Brenda, Todd Stashwick as Jeff | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Jennifer Glickman | | | | | | | | | |
| 32 :02x10 - Love is Blind (Dec/21/2006) | | The boys arguing has gotten on Dave's last nerve and asks Mike to work on his relationship with Larry. In reality, Mike prefers to hanging out with him than going to basketball practice. This worries Dave that Mike will become more of a wimp like his brother. Hillary tries to prove she is not just a beautiful girl and tries proving it by convincing a blind man to go on a date with her. | | Guest Stars: Zoe Di Stefano as Brenda, Matt Cedeño as Police Officer, Mike Erwin (1) as Mark | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Earl Davis | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
| 38 :02x16 - No Weddings and a Funeral (Feb/08/2007) | | Betty, Vicky's mother, and Sid announce their engagement and that their upcoming wedding will be in St. Martin. But when Sid goes too far with a stripper at his bachelor party, Dave debates whether or not to tell Betty, which would make them lose their free trip to the Carribean. Meanwhile, Kenny goes on a date with Hillary's ex-boyfriend. | | Guest Stars: George Segal as Sid, Jackson Rathbone as Dylan, Jamie Farr as Albert, Bill Idelson as William, Bill Fox (3) as Rabbi, Anita Gillette as Betty | Director: Andy Cadiff
Writer: Bill Kunstler (1), Claudia Lonow | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
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