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The War at Home :: High Crimes (01x03)
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Episode Information |
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| Title: | High Crimes |
| Episode #: | 01x03 |
| Production Number: | 2T7603 |
| Original Airdate: | Sunday September 25th, 2005 |
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Episode Summary |
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Hillary has been being nice to Dave...too nice. He is certain that she is having sex with someone. Mike tells Dave that he is wrong, and Hillary has not been having sex. When Dave see's his pot stash is gone, he now believe's Hillary has taken it and is smoking it. He confronts Hillary about it, accidentally letting her know the stash was his. He covers it up by saying that it is Grandma Betty's, and she uses it for medical reasons. Mike hears this, and believes it, so he buys some pot at the playground, and gives it to his Grandma telling her it is from Dave. Vicky finds the pot, and begins using it to sooth her problems. Meanwhile Grandma Betty has been acting slightly different...I wonder why.
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Guest Stars |
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Episode Notes |
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A "viewer discretion advisory" aired before the beginning of the episode.
| The names of the kids Grandmother's are: Grandma Betty & Grandma Rosalie.
| This episode originally aired out of production order.
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Episode Quotes |
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Dave: When I was a kid growing up, my father's philosophy was "Do as I say, not as I do." Well, when I became a parent, I swore I would do better with my kids. So my philosophy is, "Do as I say - not as I hope you don't know I do."
| Vicky: This book sucks.
Dave: You know what I do with books that suck? I wait for them to come out as movies that suck.
Vicky: Unfortunately, I have to read this. It's for my stupid book club.
Dave: If it's stupid, why do you go?
Vicky: I like to tell people I'm in a book club.
| Larry: Well, I'm trying out for the part of Buffalo Bill. And I'm gonna get it. When everyone sees me on that stage, dancing and singing, they're gonna know how cool I am.
Kenny: I think that's awesome. But are you sure other people will? I mean, a lot of the guys in the drama department are gay. Are you?
Larry: No! And why are you always asking me that?
| Vicky: Why do you think Hillary's having sex?
Dave: Think about it. It totally explains why she's been so happy and easy to get along with lately. I told you not to question it. Don't poke the bear.
Dave: Yeah, well, somebody's poking somebody!
| Dave: Great news, sweetie. Hillary's still a virgin.
Vicky: Good to know. I'll add that to the holiday newsletter.
| Dave: It's true. Parents that use drugs have kids that use drugs. So there's an important lesson here. Don't have kids.
| Dave: If you haven't been getting high, then how come you've been so easy to get along lately?
Hillary: Because, I've been making an effort! I can't believe you guys. You guys don't think that I can be nice unless I'm high? Well, screw you guys!
Dave: Aha! There's the Hillary we know and love.
| Dave: Vicky! Vicky!
Vicky: What? What?
Dave: What happened to our stash?
Vicky: Our stash? Since when do we have a stash?
Dave: You know...
Vicky: No. I thought we decided to be more responsible, and you were gonna get rid of the pot.
Dave: I am getting rid of it. Little by little.
Vicky: So, you still smoke?
Dave: Not really.
Vicky: How long has this been going on?
Dave: Not long.
Vicky: How often are you doing it?
Dave: Not a lot.
Vicky: And more importantly, why are you doing it without me?
Dave: Not really.
Vicky: You didn't answer my question.
Dave: Not gonna.
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