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The War at Home :: How Do You Spell Relief? (01x14)
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Episode Information |
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| Title: | How Do You Spell Relief? |
| Episode #: | 01x14 |
| Production Number: | 2T7613 |
| Original Airdate: | Tuesday February 28th, 2006 |
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Episode Summary |
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After Dave finds a pregnancy test in the trash he assumes Hillary is pregnant. But it turns out that a depressed, out of work Vicky has not been taking the pill. So Dave tries to help her out with various job opportunities but gets no results. Meanwhile, lazy Mike buys Hillary's old book reports from when she used to get good grades, and Larry somehow gets himself into a Spelling Bee Competeition.
| | There are no foreign summaries for this episode: Contribute |
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Guest Stars |
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Episode Notes |
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At the end of the episode Vicky does get a new job, working at a friend's interior design firm.
| This episode premiered on a special night and time: Tuesday, Feb. 28th at 9:30pm EST/PST after American Idol.
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Featured Songs |
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| Artist | Song Title | Played When | | •Jackson 5 | ABC | |
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Episode Quotes |
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Dave: Hey.
Vicky: Hey...
Dave: How was your day?
Vicky: It was okay. I ordered this little Hummel figurine from QVC. It's really ugly, but it'll take four to six weeks to get here and I wanted something to look forward to.
Dave: You know, uh... you're not working. You have the time. Why not go to the gym? You know, they deduct $20 from our bank account each month. Why not stop by and make sure they're still in business?
Vicky: Great! You think I'm getting fat?
| Dave: Look, I want you to be more competitive. You know, maybe you should think about joining a team. You'll learn important life lessons.
Larry: Like what? When washing the quarterback's jockstrap, use bleach?
| (playing Monopoly)
Larry: Yes! With two houses, you owe me $500.
Mike: Great. I guess I have to sell a hotel.
Larry: You can just owe it to me, I guess.
Dave: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're half-Jewish, half-Italian. Okay, that means you charge him as much as you can, and if he doesn't pay, you break his legs.
| Dave: Are you, huh? Are you pregnant? Is that what you're telling me? Are you telling me that you're pregnant?
Vicky: Well, all three times I had to tell you that, I made you a nice meal and got you all liquored up first.
Dave: Yeah, well, I'm hungry and sober, so...
Vicky: I'm not pregnant.
Dave: Thank God! Wait a second. Why would you even think you're pregnant? You're on the pill, right? You are on the pill, aren't you?
Vicky: Technically, no.
Dave: Technically? Vicky, come on, I don't want "technically." Okay, we already have three accidents. I mean, Allstate won't even insure that uterus, okay?
| Dave: Hillary!
Hillary: What?
Dave: Come here!
Hillary: What do you want?
Dave: What the hell is this?! (holds up pregnancy test box)
Hillary: A pregnancy test.
Dave: I know that, but how do you know that?
Hillary: Because it says "pregnancy test" on it.
| Hillary: What's your problem?
Mike: My stupid book report is due tomorrow, and this book is, like, 300 pages.
Hillary: Hey, I read this book when I was in your grade.
Mike: Really? Can you tell me about it?
Hillary: I can do better than that. I think I still have my book report on it.
Mike: Oh. No, thanks. I think I can fail on my own.
Hillary: I'm pretty sure I got a "B" on it.
Mike: Really? Were you sleeping with your teacher?
Hillary: No. And if I was, I would've gotten an "A."
| (Vicky kisses Dave)
Dave: Whoa. What was that about?
Vicky: I'm just really in the mood.
(cut scene)
Dave: Sorry, don't have time to say anything. I've got to take care of business.
(cut scene ends)
Dave: Baby, uh...
Vicky: Yeah?
Dave: Don't you think we should take some precautions?
Vicky: Yeah, yeah... I'm good to go.
Dave: Okay. Good. Come here. Hey, uh, what exactly does that mean, you know, "good to go"?
Vicky: It means, don't worry about it.
Dave: Come on, baby, we just dodged a bullet. Don't you think we should be more careful before firing the gun again? Well, you know, cannon.
| Larry: Hey, uh, Dad... um, I heard what you said the other day, and I decided to get involved in an activity at school. Can you sign this permission slip?
Dave: Yeah. This is great! What's it for? Basketball... football... tennis? (reads permission slip) The spelling bee?
| Dave: Pressure? No, pressure's good, okay? When Superman wants to make a diamond, he takes a piece of coal and squeezes it. And he squeezes the hell out of it, okay? And that's what I'm going to do to you, Larry.
Larry: Uh, Dad, I don't think that's going to turn me into a diamond. I just... I just think it's going to make blood come out of my mouth.
| Dave: Well, sweetie, what do you want to do?
Vicky: I told you. I want to be a mother.
Dave: (grabs family picture) Congratulations! It's a girl and two boys. Go mother them.
| Vicky: You want me to be a surrogate? You won't let anyone touch your golf clubs and you want to rent out my uterus? Thanks a lot, Dave.
Dave: No, no, don't thank me. Thank Joe. It was his stupid idea.
Vicky: What the hell are you talking to Joe about this for? My most personal, intimate, private issues.
Dave: It wasn't just Joe. I talked to a lot of people at work about this.
| (after the Spelling Bee is over)
Larry: Uh, congratulations. So, how about we go out and celebrate your victory, huh?
Sue: I don't think so. I have a boyfriend.
(cut scene)
Larry: B-I-T-C-H.
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