Josh: Five White House staffers in the room. I would like to say to the 1.6 of you that are stoned right now, it's time to share.
Jed: Which one of you is the man?
Toby: On this one, we'd like to think of ourselves collectively as "da men", sir.
Leo: Where's C.J.?
C.J.: (standing behind him) Right here.
Leo: You should wear a bell around your neck, you know that?
(after a press briefing)
C.J.: Set fire to the room. Do it now.
C.J.: What are you holding?
Danny: It's a goldfish.
Danny: It's for you.
Danny: Josh said you like goldfish.
(C.J. starts laughing)
C.J.: The crackers, Danny. The cheese thing that you have at a party?
Danny: Oh. Oh. You know what, I'm not 100% sure I was supposed to know that.
C.J.: The crackers, Danny.
Danny: Fine. Now I've got a goldfish.
C.J.: Give it to me.
Danny: No no.
C.J.: No, you'll kill it.
Danny: You think I can't take care of a goldfish?
C.J.: I absolutely do not.
C.J.: Why are you here?
Danny: I'm here because there's a basketball team called the New York Knickerbockers who are playing in town tomorrow night.
C.J.: I don't have time to go to a basketball game!
Danny: Neither do I. Which is why I thought we could watch it in your office, while I explain it to you in a patronizing manner, 'cause I know it's something women usually like.
C.J.: Thank you anyway.
Danny: You understand I'll talk slow and explain it in a way a girl would appreciate?