Donna: Why give them all the stories we aren't wild about on Friday?
Josh: Because the press has x-column inches to fill. They're going to fill them no matter what. So if we give them one story, it's x column inches.
Donna: Why on Friday?
Josh: Because nobody reads the paper on Saturday.
Sam: There's a town in Alabama that wants to abolish all laws except the Ten Commandments. Well, they're going to have a problem. Coveting thy neighbor's wife, for instance. How're you going to enforce that one?
(while reading the Sex Education Report)
C.J.: (to Danny) I'm anticipating any joke you could possibility make and not finding any of them funny.
Mrs. Landingham: Would you like to share what's in that report, sir?
Bartlet: With you?
Mrs. Landingham: Yes.
Mrs. Landingham: May I ask why not, sir?
Bartlet: Because I'd rather not be in therapy for the rest of my life.
C.J.: Well, what are they recommending?
Josh: Something called Abstinence Plus.
C.J.: What's that mean?
Josh: Well, Sam's renamed it, "Everything But".
C.J.: "Everything But"... And so the "sticky wicket" joke was --
Josh: A regrettable pun.