Jim and Artie are riding through the woods to determine why every living thing has disappeared in the vicinity. The y discover that all of the fruit-bearing vegetables are dead, but all other vegetation is fine. They ride to the Indian tribe at Bright Star to find out if they know anything. However, they find an armored knight on the road ahead of them, blocking their path. It advances on them, immune to their bullets. Thugs dressed as Robin Hood’s Merry Men emerge from the woods and quickly disarm the agents. The knight advances to them and welcomes them to Sherwood Forest...Read the full recap
Artie: Merry Men, huh? I hate to see what they look like when they’re not merry.
Dr. Miguelito Loveless: Squab, gentlemen? Or would you rather eat crow?
James: Don’t show any interest. You know he’ll tell us everything. He can’t stand being ignored.
Antoinette: Well, maybe you've misjudged him.
Dr. Miguelito Loveless: I?!? Misjudge people? That's unthinkable. I know human nature.
Antoinette: Yes, Miguelito.
Dr. Miguelito Loveless: All you have to do is keep giving people something they want badly enough, give it to them for nothing, and you reduce them to passive, obedient children.
Dr. Miguelito Loveless: You can make them do anything you want to. Anything in the world, they become so dependent on you.
Antoinette: Yes, Miguelito.
Dr. Miguelito Loveless: I can have them eating out of my hand.
Antoinette: Of course, Miguelito. (feeds him)
Dr. Miguelito Loveless: I just thought you might be interested in how I ended all life in this forest. I did it with this. It kills all insects. And without insects, fruit-bearing trees cannot pollinate, there can be no fruit. Don’t worry, Mr. West, at the moment the solution isn’t strong enough. But add just a little bit more of my secret formula, and ha! A film forms on water and all the fish die. A bit more and birds fly, only to die in a feathered falling. Just a little bit stronger… the largest elk feels faint, flees, and fading, dies. And finally, if needs I must… add just a little bit more of my secret formula. Man
James: And children too? Children who cry out in the night from the hunger you’ve caused?
Dr. Miguelito Loveless: What could children know of crying in the night? What can children know of a whole lifetime of crying?
Dr. Miguelito Loveless: Well what can one say at a time like this, Mr. West?
James: Au revoir?
Dr. Miguelito Loveless: No. Just goodbye. Once and forever… goodbye, Mr. West
Dr. Miguelito Loveless: Ow! Darn these pine needles. Why can’t a forest be decently carpeted?
Artemus: How long do you think it'll be before Loveless turns his twisted little mind to us?
Dr. Miguelito Loveless: Right now, Mr. Gordon. In fact, you and Mr. West are never out of my mind.
Old Chief: Let there be a duel!
Dr. Miguelito Loveless: Believe me, this is more merciful.
Old Chief: Stop talking back to me, you funny little man!
Artemus: You ever fought with a mace before?
James: Fought with one? Never even seen one.