Artemus: That sound like a direct order to you?
Artemus: Funny, I can’t remember what he said.
Jim: I can’t remember either, Artie.
Colonel Arsenio "Arsenic" Barbossa: Would you care to read your own dossier?
James: Oh, thank you, Colonel, I’ve lived it.
Griswold: And who is this preposterous female and her gunmen? What's she got to do with this case?
James: Well, aside from the fact that she wears tangerine lipstick.
Artemus: And wields a knife with style.
James: We don't know a thing about her, sir.
James: To the memory of when we first met, when I kissed you.
Lupita Gonzalez: As I recall, I followed that up by slapping you.
James: True, but the first memory overwhelms the second.
Artemus: What about me, I have no memories at all.