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The Wonder Years :: Don't You Know Anything About Women? (03x11)
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Episode Information |
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| Title: | Don't You Know Anything About Women? |
| Episode #: | 03x11 |
| Production Number: | B89511 |
| Original Airdate: | Tuesday January 16th, 1990 |
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Episode Summary |
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A school dance has Kevin hoping to invite Susan Fisher, but ending up with his lab partner, good ol' Linda.
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Guest Stars |
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Main Cast |
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Featured Songs |
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Episode Quotes |
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(After Susan Fisher danced with Kevin, she went back to Donald. Linda leaves Kevin to dance with Steve Padwick. Carla dedicates The Righteous Brothers' "Unchained Melody" to Paul, who jumps up to dance with her. Kevin stands alone, reflecting)
Narrator: All our young lives we search for someone to love.
(Paul and Carla dance slowly)
Narrator: Someone who makes us complete.
(Kevin shown still alone, then fade to Susan and Donald slow dancing)
Narrator: We choose partners and change partners.
(Kevin looks to Linda and Steve in each others' arms)
Narrator: We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope...
(Kevin begins to walk through the crowd)
Narrator: ...all the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there's someone perfect...
(Winnie enters gym, smiling)
Narrator: ...who might be searching for us.
(Kevin walks toward gym door, as Winnie continues in, searching)
Last chorus of song: I need your love.
I, I need your love.
(They unknowingly pass each other through the crowd. The camera pulls back and Kevin exits, Winnie still looking for him)
Song: God speed your love to me. | (At school, in chemistry class)
Mr. Cantwell: Do not try this at home.
Narrator/Adult: Ah, chemistry. Nothin' like it.
Mr. Cantwell: Proceed with your experiments. Remember, observation is the key.
Narrator/Adult: Uh, huh. There was lots to learn from observing Susan Fisher.
Mr. Cantwell: Miss Fisher, will you please read from the laboratory manual.
Susan Fisher: (In a southern drawl) The following experiment is one involving sodium and chloride, the main components of salt.
Narrator/Adult: Susan spanned the entire periodic table of elements. She was gorgeous, exotic, and thanks to Donald Walluck, totally unavailable. Still, there was something about the way that woman said:
Susan Fisher: (In a southern drawl) Sodium chloride precipitate
Narrator/Adult: ...that set my blood boilin'.
(A hand sticks a pair of laboratory tongs in Kevin's face)
Kevin: Hey!
Linda Sloan: Pay attention or you'll get burned. (smiles at Kevin)
Narrator/Adult: Linda Sloan on the other hand, was my, well...lab partner.
Kevin: I was paying attention!
Linda Sloan: Sure you were.
Narrator/Adult: She was smart, funny, and comfortable.
Mr. Cantwell: Mix your precipitants, and stand back.
Linda Sloan: Think we're ready for this?
Kevin: As we'll ever be.
Narrator/Adult: No question about it. Linda was really....(their experiment fizzles out) a great guy.
Linda Sloan: Maybe next time.
Kevin: Sure.
Narrator/Adult: But in chemistry, as in life, the realities are clear. Some combinations make sparks (Donald and Susan's experiment is a success) Some don't. | (at the school dance)
Susan Fisher: Kevin? Hi!
Narrator/Adult: Humina, humina, humina..
Susan Fisher: Ready for our dance?
Narrator/Adult: Was Rhett Butler ready for Scarlett O'Hara? Was Anthony ready for Cleopatra? As we stepped out onto that dance floor I was prepared to take my place among the world's greatest romancers.
(Susan and Kevin dance very close)
Narrator/Adult: No more admiring Susan from a distance. She was here, in my arms. The perfect woman, the perfect song, the perfect moment.
(song has ended. Susan and Kevin are sharing a toast at the punchbowl)
Kevin: Cheers.
Susan Fisher: Cheers.
Narrator/Adult: To us. I wanted to enjoy this moment forever. Kevin Arnold with Susan Fisher. Kevin Arnold with the girl of his dreams. Kevin Arnold with....absolutely nothing to talk about.
Susan Fisher: (handing her cup to Kevin) Would you hold this a minute? I'll be right back.
Kevin: No sweat.
Linda Sloan: Where'd you disappear to?
Kevin: (looking uncomfortable) Linda, ah, hi. How was your dance with Steve?
Linda Sloan: It was okay. (Seeing the extra cup of punch in Kevin's hand) For me?
Kevin: (abruptly, moving the cup away) No, this is Susan's.
Linda Sloan: (looking heartbroken) Oh.
Narrator/Adult: Maybe I didn't say that in exactly the right way.
Kevin: She's gonna be right back, I mean she's already drunk out of it. But there's more. [Embrrassed, Kevin desperately pours Linda a cup of punch)
Narrator/Adult: At that moment I guess I felt like crawling into that punchball and pulling the ice cubes over my head. But I knew I couldn't.
Linda Sloan: She's not so great, you know.
Kevin: (trying to apologize) Linda...I...
Linda Sloan: Don't say it. I understand.
("Unchained Melody" by The Righteous Brothers starts playing)
Linda Sloan: So, you don't mind if I go find Steve Padway do you?
Kevin: Don't mind.
Linda Sloan: See ya in science class. (walks away, looking down)
Narrator/Adult: It was the first heart I'd ever broken, and in a way, my own heart was aching a little too. It didn't seem--fair. I really liked Linda. But the fact was I just didn't feel about her the way...Susan Fisher felt about Donald Walluck. Maybe she'd just been toying with me or maybe she'd used me to get back with Donald. In any event it was perfectly clear Paul wasn't the only one who'd been fooling himself.
Carla Healey: This dance is for Paul from Carla.
Narrator/Adult: All our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We danced to a song of heartbreak and hope. All the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there's someone perfect, who might be searching for us.
(Winnie walks in looking around, and passes Kevin without noticing him)
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Episode Goofs |
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When Kevin walks into the cafeteria, the shot cuts to students sitting at the lunch tables. In the background, Kevin is already at a table. | While in science class, Kevin takes off his protective glasses. But in the next shot of him, the glasses are back on without Kevin picking them back up. |
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Episode Notes |
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Cultural References |
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Episode References |
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Analysis |
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