Narrator: I wanted them to tell me why they were fighting. Why they kept hurting each other like this. Why it was that the two men who meant the whole world to me...had to act like - children. But most of all, I just wanted them to stop.
Narrator: From the pawn...through the established ranks ... to the lord and master of all things great and small. But one week out of the year, a force would blow into town that even my father could not control ... Grampa Arnold.
("Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In" is on TV)
Rowan: Well, I guess you're looking forward to a...good season.
Martin: Yeah, you bet your sweet bippy I am.
Grandpa Arnold: "Bippy"? What is that - "bippy"?
Narrator/Adult: That night, I was noticing a connection. Every time Gramps opened his mouth, my father would glare a little harder at the puppy.
Grandpa Arnold: That's what people laugh at these days - "bippy"?
Karen: Well, it's not funny, like - "hah-hah" funny - it's like *loose, wild* funny.
Grandpa Arnold: You want to see funny, you ought to watch some "Honeymooner's" reruns.
Narrator/Adult: But wait a minute. What was this?
Norma: Oh...! That's Jack's favorite show.
Grandpa Arnold: Hmm? Really?
Jack: One of the best.
Grandpa Arnold: You ever see the one...where Norton and Ralph bought the hotel?
Narrator/Adult: This was great! By some fantastic coincidence, Gramps had stumbled onto the one thing that made my father really come alive.
Grandpa Arnold: Or the one where Ralph forgets Alice's birthday?
Norma: I love that one!
Jack: Yeah, I saw that one.
Narrator/Adult: Heh-heh. Little did Gramps know that Dad's Ralph Kramden impersonation was legendary. Around our house, anyway.
Norma: Do your "Ralph Kramden."
Kevin: Yeah, come on, Dad.
Grandpa Arnold: I didn't know you did imitations, John.
Jack: Neither did I.
Norma: Oh, just once - please.
Kevin: Come on, let's see it.
Jack: (doing his Ralph Kramden immitation) "One of these days, Alice...one of these days - Bang!-Zoom! - to the moon."
Norma: Honey...you can do it a little better than that...
Jack: Well, to do it right, you a little more elbow-room.
Narrator/Adult: OK, so much for the warm-up. Time for Dad to let out all the stops. The patented "Ed Norton double-take."
Jack: "Do it! Will you already?!"
Narrator/Adult: And just when it seemed like the sun was never gonna shine again...The clouds began to break.
Grandpa Arnold: That's Gleason? That doesn't sound like Gleason.
A continuity error finds the adult Kevin (narrator) talking about his dad later on being the Grandfather of his kids, yet in the final episode we learn that Jack dies just two years later, meaning he would never have seen his grandchildren.