Narrator: Ninth grade man. Noble, upright, virtuous. I went into my last year of Junior High thinking I knew all the answers. And suddenly all I had was questions. (Kevin flexes his hand) Plus a dislocated thumb.
(Kevin enters a classroom for the first time, sits down and notices a beautiful girl named Madeline)
Kevin: (bends over and picks up Madeline's pencil from the floor) Excuse me. You uhh... dropped this. And I... hmm... eh...picked... picked it up. For you.
Madeline: Thank you - ...
Kevin: KE - K - Kevin.
(Sound of electrical buzzing noise as Madeline grabs the pencil)
Narrator/Adult: Fact!! Lead conducts electricity.
Paul: I don't understand this.
Paul: My schedule! Look what they gave me. Chemistry!
Kevin: So, what's wrong with that!?
Paul: Are you kidding? Don't you know what happens if I get into chemicals? I am allergic to soap!
Paul: I knew this year would be a disaster. What did you get?
Kevin: Uh. Let me see.
Paul: I bet you got something neat. Like astronomy. Or physics.
Narrator/Adult: Sure, something neat. Like, say...Industrial arts?? Shop? It was encouraging to know that the board of education had such confidence in my intellectual prowess.
( Kevin walks through the shop, then leans on a machine)
Shop Student: Hey, hey. Don't stand next to that machine!
Kevin: What? Why?
Shop Student: That baby ate Ray Spike's index fingers. It's kind of a shrine. You are new here, aren't you?
Kevin: Yeah. But by mistake.
Shop Student: Heh. That's what they all say...
Kevin: No really! See there's been a mistake on my schedule. (Kevin hands him his class schedule)
Narrator/Adult: If it had been a blueprint, this kid might have been able to read it. But since it was in English, it was pretty obvious, this kid didn't have a clue.
Kevin: Is there a teacher here?
Shop Student: Ah, yeah, Nestor. But you don't wanna talk to Nestor.
Narrator/Adult: Of course I did. After all he was a teacher, an employee of the public school system.
Kevin: Where is he?
Shop Student: Over there!
(Mr. Nestor is preparing to lift a band-saw as a show of strength)
Mr. Nestor: Awright. Let's go. I got it. It's up. It's clear. Awright, buttheads! Back to it.
Kevin: Uh, Mr. Nestor?
Mr. Nestor: Yo!
Kevin: Hi. I am Kevin Arnold.
Mr. Nestor: That so?
Kevin: Yeah. I wanna speak with you about my schedule.
Mr. Nestor: (listens with a deaf ear) Schedule? Heh?
Kevin: Yes, Sir. About this class.
Mr. Nestor: This class? Heh?
Kevin: Well, I think, possibly, there's been a mistake.
Mr. Nestor: Mistake. Ha?
Narrator/Adult: Okay. So far, so good. So far as I can tell.
Kevin: Yeah, well. The fact is that I am not very good in Industrial Arts. I think I'd be better at something like, uh, chemistry, or, uh...
Mr. Nestor: (to another kid) Martha! Your eyes, (pointing to his eyeglasses) watch your eyes! Bullethead. Oh, where were we?
Kevin: Well, as silly as it sounds, uh, I think they've got the wrong Arnold.
Mr. Nestor: Wrong Arnold. Heh?
Kevin: Uh, right. So...
Mr. Nestor: (to a kid using a tool wrong) Burber! Not the screwdriver, the chisel. Idiot! So, you want out? Is that it?
Kevin: Kind a. I mean if that would be all right with you.
Mr. Nestor: Okay. I'll let you out.
Narrator/Adult: There. Finally!
Mr. Nestor: There is one thing though. You gotta arm wrestle me for it!
Narrator/Adult: Uh-huh. Things were starting off with a bang. And it wasn't even lunch yet.
In Episode 25 "Math Class," Kevin is in Miss Martinson's French class. Yet in this episode Kevin is in Miss Falcinella's French class with new student Madeline and he says in narration that "French was a language I simply didn't understand..The only thing he could say to Madeline was "do you want some butter in French...Apparently, he didn't learn anything in the 8th grade French class.