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The Wonder Years :: A Very Cutlip Christmas (04x09)
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Episode Information |
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| Title: | A Very Cutlip Christmas |
| Episode #: | 04x09 |
| Original Airdate: | Wednesday December 12th, 1990 |
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Episode Summary |
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Kevin sees a different side of Coach Cutlip after seeing him as a store Santa Claus at the mall. | | There are no foreign summaries for this episode: Contribute |
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Guest Stars |
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Main Cast |
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Featured Songs |
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| Artist | Song Title | Played When | | •Dick Smith & Felix Bernard | Winter Wonderland | | | •Handel | Hallelujah Chorus (Handel Messiah) | | | •Mitchell Parish & Leroy Anderson | Sleigh Ride | | | •(Unknown artist) | First Noel | | | •(Unknown artist) | Deck The Halls | | | •(Unknown artist) | Jingle Bells | | | •(Unknown artist) | Frosty The Snow Man | | | •(Unknown artist) | Silent Night | |
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Episode Quotes |
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Narrator: When you're a kid, it's simple. Christmas is magic. It's a time of miracles, when reindeer can fly, and Frosty never melts. Then you get older. Somehow, things change. The magic begins to fade. Until something happens that reminds you, at Christmas time ... miracles still can be found. Sometimes in the most unexpected places. | Tommy Kisling: Cutlip's a raving lunatic!
Doug Porter: He has absolutely no Christmas spirit.
Randy Mitchell: He makes us dust the floor in front of the girl's gym class. And Doug with his underwear hangin' out.
Doug: My underwear was showing?!
Tommy: Somebody oughtta do something to that guy.
Paul: Hey don't get me involved with this. I gotta play basketball for the guy.
Narrator/Adult: It seemed Paul was about the only one of my colleagues who had a real sense of reality.
Doug: What I wouldn't give just once to have something over Cutlip.
Tommy: Yeah, take him down a peg.
Randy: Maybe we should talk to him.
Kevin: (scoffs) Aw, get real.
Tommy: What?
Kevin: You can't talk to the guy. Cutlip's from another planet.
(Cutlip enters)
Coach Cutlip: Men. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking ... you let me down. Well, don't give it a second thought. There's always manyana. [leaves]
Narrator/Adult: Bottom line: the guy was completely out of touch with humanity.
Tommy: OK, that's it! I say we kill him.
Narrator/Adult: But I wasn't gonna let my gym teacher dampen my Christmas spirits. | (Kevin wandering through the mall, stops to watch Santa)
Narrator/Adult: Shoes, ties, calisthenics. It was beginning to seem like the whole world was adrift in a quagmire of phony holiday spirit. It made you wonder, what ever happened to the magic?
Santa: Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! Step right up here young lady!
Narrator/Adult: Now this was more like it. In its own tacky way, seeing those kids waiting at that Christmas mall display, made me remember what I'd been missing.
Santa:Step right up here, young man! Up on Santa ... Ho, ho, ho!
Narrator/Adult: Maybe it was Santa's hearty laugh. Maybe I was waxing nostalgia for my simpler youth.
Santa: Ho, ho, ho, ho! So, Bobby, tell me, what would you like from Santa for Christmas, huh?
Narrator/Adult: Whatever it was, for the first time in years, St. Nick actually seemed familiar to me.
Santa: What's that? A bike? Slow down, Bobby. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
Narrator/Adult: Like a long-lost uncle, who I couldn't quite place.
Santa: (sneezes) Scoozie. (sniffs)
(Kevin turns in shock, recognizing that sneeze)
Kevin: Cutlip?
Santa: Well every young man should have-- (stops speaking suddenly as he notices Kevin starring at him)
Narrator/Adult: It was horrible, worse than horrible. The whiskers, the bells, the hat? Kind of a Christmas nightmare come true. First time I'd ever seen a teacher outside of school, and he had a pillow strapped to his stomach. | Narrator/Adult: I stood there, helpless, outnumbered. And that's when it happened. Doug Porter looked first, directly into the eyes of the man who had taught him gym for three long years. Then Tommy Kisling looked, too, and Randy Mitchell. Those three skeptics gazed straight at that white beard, dead into the eyes of Coach Cutlip not thirty feet away. But all that they saw ... was Santa Claus.
Doug Porter: C'mon, guys. Let's keep looking.
Narrator/Adult: It was a miracle. He stood there like some patron saint of all the lonely people holidays sometimes forget.
(chorus begins to sing: "Silent Night."Santa looks around, then sits down on his throne)
Santa: All right. Who's next to see Santa? (a girl approaches) Step right up here, young lady...
Narrator/Adult: And for that brief moment of Christmas magic, Ed Cutlip got his chance to be what he always wanted.
Santa:...Your brother's here? Well, bring him up at the same time. I'll talk to both of you at the same time. What a fine-looking family you come from...
Narrator/Adult: And I never gave him away.
Santa: Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! |
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Episode Notes |
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Episode Goofs |
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Cultural References |
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Episode References |
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Analysis |
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